Annals of Stupidity–Niagara Knuckleheads: There’s a sort of nihilistic charm in attempting a stunt that is almost certain to kill you. And it takes a world-class–umm, what’s the word?–idiot to plunge over Niagara Falls with nothing but the clothes on your back. But some people are born lucky, and so it is that one Kirk Jones, 40, of Canton, Michigan became the first person this week to intentionally “swim” Niagara Falls and climb out with a stupid grin on his face [a 7-year old kid was swept accidentally over Niagara in 1960, and lived to tell the tale]. Jones is in good company, though, because lots of other idio…I mean daredevils have braved the Falls. It’s impossible to know the true number, but most sources say 15 have tried–in various contraptions and modes–and five have died. The first man (the first person was a woman, Annie Edson Taylor, in 1901; she lived) to go over in a barrel was Bobby Leach, in 1911. He survived and died fifteen years later when he slipped on an orange peel. A guy named Karel Soucek pulled it off, too, in 1984. He died the next year attempting to drop 180-feet in a barrel into a water tank…in front of 45,000 people at the Houston Astrodome. Quite a show. The stories just get better, though. In 1920 Charles Stephens went over in an oak barrel and carried with him an anvil. Smart guy that he was, he strapped the anvil to his feet. When he landed at the base of the Falls the anvil naturally wanted to keep going. It broke through the barrel and took Stevens with it…leaving only his right arm (he had secured himself inside the barrel) behind. Ouch. My favorite for sheer inventiveness, combined with galactic stupidity, is Robert “Firecracker” Overacker. He jet-skied over the Falls in 1995, with a rocket-assisted parachute. The elaborate scheme had one fatal flaw, though….THE PARACHUTE WAS NOT PROPERLY TETHERED TO HIS BACK! Splat. Glub-glub. Bye-bye.

“Firecracker” Overacker: “Jet Ski..Check..Parachute…Check…Parachute Attached?…Oh Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit……”