Lost Wetass Hall of Fame–Gertrude Ederle: Who? Gertrude Ederle, first woman to swim the English Channel? Ok, I admit I never heard of Gertie either. But she died last week at the age of 98, so she deserves some respect. Particularly since back in her day–the 1920s, if you can believe it–she was a superstar. Our Gertrude was quite the fish. In 1924 she won a gold medal at the Paris Olympics. But it wasn’t until 2 years later, when she swam from Cape Gris-Nez, France to Kingsdown, England in 14 and half hours, that she became a Lady Lindbergh. Ederle not only became the first woman to swim the Channel, she did it–lubed up with vaseline and olive oil–through stinging jellyfish, 15-foot waves and fast currents. She actually had to cover about 35 miles, and still she beat the existing man-set record by two hours, in part because she refused to use the ladies’ stroke of the day–the breast stroke–and struck out using the shockingly mannish crawl. By her count she made 21,700 strokes to get the job done. When she was through, President Calvin Coolidge called her “America’s Best Girl” and she went home to a ticker tape parade watched by 2 million. Nice going, Gertrude. We’ll miss you…well, if we actually knew you, we would.



Unexpected Pre-Swim Problem #1: “Enough grease already. This dog is about to have my ass for lunch!”