Annals of Enormity 2–Carpe Carp: According to Newsweek, giant fish can actually pose a danger: you might get smacked upside the head by one. Giant Asian carp were brought to the US in the 1970s to control algae at catfish farms. Predictably, they escaped, or were thrown into a waterway, or were flushed down a toilet (actually this last one seems unlikely given that they are up to 4 feet long and weigh up to 100 pounds). Now, they are patrolling the Illinois, Missouri and Mississippi rivers, scarfing up the vegetation and plankton which native born species rely on for food, and are ever so steadily headed toward the Great Lakes. That could be an environmental disaster. But what got Newsweek interested? Last fall, an Illinois woman on a Jet Ski got popped between the eyes by a jumping 10-pounder and knocked cold (apparently, the carp find the Jet Ski engine noise as annoying as the rest of the sane population). See, you shouldn’t f@*k with Mother Nature…



“Ok, Charlie, I’ll knock her into the water and you rip her bikini off……”