Annals of Inanity–In Other Planetary News…: With the Bush Administration pushing a return to space exploration, Space.Com informs us that land sales on various planetary orbs are picking up. Proving that in the internet era there is a sucker born every second, land-sale scams pitching plots on the Moon, Mars and beyond have relieved 2.5 million people in 180 countries of more than $1 million of their money. Deeds to, say, a one-acre crater on the Moon (going for $33, up dramatically in recent years), are totally bogus…sort of. A 1967 treaty outlaws property ownership by nations and governments beyond earth. But that hasn’t stopped Dennis Hope, the self-proclaimed “Head Cheese” of LunarEmbassy.com, from claiming he owns the rights to planetary property across the solar system. Hope claims a loophole in the treaty (i.e. it doesn’t prohibit individuals from owning property or homesteading beyond earth). And even though the title “Head Cheese” does not inspire confidence, Hope has got interplanetary legal scholars in a tizzy. It all could end up in court (can’t wait for “U.S. vs. Head Cheese;” could be bigger than OJ). Meanwhile, and it makes TWC weep,….plenty of Earthly morons are buying in, particularly since there is no shortage of interplanetary real estate agents. Take LunarRegistry.com . It doesn’t claim to own anything. But it does promise “a program through which you, your family, or your business enterprise can legally claim ownership of property on the Moon.” Proceeds will be pooled “in order to create the investment capital required to occupy and develop the Moon.” You can also buy the rights to name a star at the site (wouldn’t that be a perfect Valentines Day gift?), and the low-key pitch must be working. LunarRegistry claims more than 400,000 people have forked over the cash. But if TWC were in the market for a little land way, way out there, it would turn to the marketing geniuses at BuyUranus.Com, who make full use of the humor potential in the unfortunately-named planet. Here’s their pitch:

“We’re not just offering you a tiny, 1 acre parcel of land on the Moon, Mars or any other boring planet like some companies.

No, we’re giving you free and clear, legal title to a full square mile piece of Uranus!

Included in your deed are the full mining rights so you can penetrate deep inside your piece of Uranus.

If you’re worried about the population explosion on Uranus and don’t want to buy a piece of the surface of Uranus you can have a ring around Uranus or even a big bright moon!

As well as the bragging rights to claim you own a piece of Uranus you also get this wonderful presentation package of memorabilia to show how proud you are of it.

Once you own this packet you’ll never stop talking about Uranus.”

Perhaps. But it could cost you more than the price of the deed, if UK legal scholar Virgiliu Pop gets his way. In 2001 Pop laid claim to the sun, and the right to charge all users of its solar energy on other planets a fee. Now that would be some serious money….



Crater Condo: “Honey, honey. I know it doesn’t have running water, or heat, or, ummm, oxygen….But the view is spectacular!”