Weirdass Sport #362–Squirrel Fishing: Yes, it’s a crazy, crazy world…at least if you measure it by the remarkable enthusiasm many seemingly normal people have for the fine art of squirrel fishing. It all started up at the engineering labs of Hahvahd, where two grad students named Nikolas Gloy and Yasuhiro Endo–who are obviously procrastinating big time–started a little “research” project in “Rodent Performance Evaluation.” This led to a lot of experiments with string, peanuts and gray squirrels, and some breakthrough discoveries. Such as Gloy’s First Conjecture, which states that a squirrel will always give up one acorn if another one is thrown nearby. And the revelation that smart squirrels will bite through the string instead of pulling on the peanut (and that squirrels in Texas are smarter than squirrels in Massachusetts). They also proved that you can’t get a standing squirrel to fall over backward by moving the peanut over its head (though they admit that more research is needed to ascertain whether squirrels get dizzy from spinning for the peanut).

Anyhow, as word of this important research spread, other procrastinators and assorted eccentrics picked up poles and peanuts and, skipping all the science, just started squirrel fishing. So should you be inclined to fish for squirrels too, click here for an excellent summary of techniques and helpful tips. For example:

“Watch the squirrel and get to know his style. Some squirrels are skittish and jumpy; these tend to be the thinner, smaller ones. On the other end of the spectrum lie the chubby squirrels, who tend to be less inhibited when it comes to approaching humans. Go for the roly-poly ones. They’re friendlier, and fat for a reason.”

Still not hooked. Click here for an exciting photo sequence which effectively conveys the suspense, excitement and downright pleasure of fishing for…ummm…squirrels…



“Whooeee! I got me one! Heat up the skillet Amy Sue, we’re gonna be eatin’ good tonight…”