Wetass Sport #342–Pond Swooping: If just plain ol’ skydiving isn’t exciting enough for you, you don’t have to throw out your chute. Instead you can dive into a wetass variant of the sport in which you plummet toward a body of water, time your landing so that you touch down on the surface at about 70 mph, and then try to skim along like a barefoot water skiier ’til you gracefully step onto land with nary a drop of water on you. Of course, if you mistime things, it could, err, hurt. Anyhow, the sixth annual Pond Swooping Nationals (“If you’re not prepared to get wet… DON’T COME!!!”) just touched down in Gardiner, NY, and the venerable NY Times was there in the person of reporter Corey Kilgannon to make a full report. Here’s an excerpt:

“On Friday morning, they began their runs, swooping down to the water every minute or so – first Sonic, then The Punisher, then Fruitcake – flying over the water in a narrow buoy lane, first curved, then straight.

Just as many competitors in the weekend event skimmed along on their bellies or buttocks, or lost speed and control and splashed unceremoniously into the muddy water, to hoots and jeers from spectators. This is called chowing, and it is as integral to pond-swooping fun as the perfect surface glide.

Splashers get flagged down by the chow judge, Bruce Chapman, which means a big deduction of points from the judges sitting lakeside in lawn chairs. They assess a swooper’s approach, skim length and swoop control. In other events, swoopers try to land on a raft, and show their freestyle skills in an event called canopy expressions.

The crowd watched intently as Clint Clawson, 29, from Perris, Calif., drifted down from the clouds and swooped down on the pond. Mr. Clawson, a top pro on the national Pro Swooping Tour, has won the event at the ranch the past two years. With his black Chuck Taylor hightop sneakers, he traced a graceful arc in the water before landing on the far bank, while mugging for the crowd.”

If you can’t quite visualize it, check out Skydive New England’s excellent photo gallery here. Pond Swooping: Good nicknames, good lingo, a bunch of nutjobs with parachutes, great sport…



“Uh-oh, I think I’m gonna chow…”

(Photo: SkyDive New England)

Leave a comment