Wetass News Notes II–Abandoned Dogs: The Grand St. Bernard Monastery, which sits at 8,000 feet in the Swiss Alps, did anyone who loves dog drool a huge favor four centuries ago when they decided they needed help rescuing travelers trapped in the dangerous, snowy pass. So they bred the massive St. Bernard dog, and used them to make more than 2000 rescues since 1700. The dogs could smell humans buried under avalanches, and hear avalanches long before humans could. When they found a victim, the big lugs would lie down on top of them and lick them to keep them warm. Grand Champ of them all was a dog named Barry, who made 41 rescues in the early 19th century. And of course, the dogs looked great (though the barrel of brandy hanging from their collars was a fiction created by artists–which no doubt inspired lots of alcoholics to get lost in the Alps). But now the monastery is down to just four overworked monks who say they don’t have the money or the time to keep the dogs. So they’re selling them. Does this make any sense? No TIME? They’re MONKS…in a MONASTERY…in a remote spot in the ALPS. Maybe they are too hooked on PlayStation, but that’s a lame excuse. And as for money, why don’t they just breed enough dogs to sell them to egotistical celebrities, who’d love to have a St. Bernard St. Bernard. Calling Mike Tyson, Puff Daddy, Elton John, and Brigid Bardot…



“This guy’s a goner, Bernie. Let’s break into my collar cask and then chase poodles…”