Category: Uncategorized

TWC Quick Hits:

Trawlers Are Scraping the Bottoms of the Oceans Clean: Bye-bye sponges, corals, Nemo…..

Biotech Companies Are Threatening to Plunder Antarctica in the Scramble for New Microbes: Hunt for useful “Extremophiles” is a billion dollar 21st century gold-rush. Bye-bye sponges, oops, I mean bye-bye Antarctic cod, cold-loving lichens, and lots of other, umm, stuff…

Australian Man Drives For Help With Stubborn Shark Clamped To Leg: Yeah, but did the shark wear his seat belt…?

Maoist Rebels in Nepal Are Mugging Trekkers: If they break your legs you can’t hike. Embassy advice: Pay up…fast.



“That’s right bourgeois, running-dog, trekker. Hand over our “fee” or we’ll make you stand on one leg all day…..”

“Wrong-Way” VDH Update–“Don’t Forget About Me”: With maxi cats carving up the oceans, and hoping to carve up the record books, spare a thought for singlehander Jean Luc Van Den Heede, who is well on his way to smashing the non-stop solo record, sailing westabout against the prevailing winds. VDH is 96 days into his voyage, and over the weekend passed South Africa’s Cape of Good Hope, the last Great Cape of his voyage. He and “Adrien” are now working their way north toward the Equator, with a massive 26 day lead over the record pace. This is VDH’s fourth attempt at this record, and it looks as if his persistence is about to pay off. He still has to negotiate the windless Doldrums, but the only serious threat to finishing with a new record is 1) if he loses his mast; and 2) if he hits a floating object like a container, and either holes the boat or loses his rudder. So VDH is sailing very carefully and keeping his fingers crossed. The mental stress is building:

Everything has disappeared again! The nice SSE wind that I’d had since rounding the Cape of Good Hope has become unreliable in strength and direction, the Sun has gone in behind the clouds, which have now made the sky overcast, even the birds think I’m too far away from their homes… Only the swell remains, but that is something I could quite do without, as it stops my spinnaker from staying filled up, and it makes my mainsail swing around from one side to the other, in spite of being clamped to the boom.

In these circumstances, when the boat rolls from one side to the other, because there isn’t enough wind, the strain on the rigging and sails is huge, and always worries me, as there’s nothing I can do when this happens.

This is arguably the most brutal record in sailing, so don’t let VDH’s modesty fool you. He’s quietly putting up a BIG, BIG number…..



“Thank God I put my shorts on before that helicopter arrived….”

Annals of Oops–“Sorry about the $40 million plane, Colonel”: Flying for the US Air Force Thunderbirds is not for the faint of heart. Come to think of it, GOING to a Thunderbirds show is not for the faint of heart. On Sept. 14, 2003, Capt. Christopher Stricklin had to punch out as his F-16 jet headed for an unscheduled touchdown. Stricklin had the presence of mind to steer his jet away from the crowd, and hit the eject button just a slim eight-tenths of a second before impact. Click here for a spectacular 2.7 meg picture of the key moment. The plane turned into a fiery comet and skidded to a stop just 100 feet short of the control tower. Click here for a video of both the crash and the fireball heading towards the control tower (note: I don’t think the bouncing object at the end of the clip is Capt. Stricklin; he survived).



Bad, Bad Day at the Office

(Images via AVWeb)

Annals of Extinction–Grizzlies?…In California?: Yup. Where do you think the bear on California’s state flag came from? In fact, grizzly bears used to be so plentiful in California that they roamed Santa Barbara’s coast and Santa Monica’s canyons. One setter complained in 1850 that grizzlies were “more plentiful than pigs … as to make the rearing of cattle utterly impossible.” That didn’t last long, though. The last grizzly in California was wiped out in the early 19th century. And how this came to be is documented in a new book called “Bear In Mind” (Heyday Books). As the LA Times explains in a review:

“The end came with the breech-loading rifle and the Gold Rush, which sent a floodtide of trigger-happy prospectors to claim every rock and twig in grizzly territory. From here it was a short trip to bear rugs, den massacres, Grizzly Adams’ bear circus and arenas staging bear-versus-bull fights. “

It’s a sad and all too unsurprising story, worth reading….



LA Times, 1908: Hope the honey was good….

JV MegaMulti Death Match Update-Round 1 to “Geronimo”: Fossett’s “Cheyenne” is slowly accelerating, but still picking her way South at 15-20 knots and hoping to find steady winds so she can really start blasting along. She’s about a day, and 300 miles, behind the pace that current record-holder “Orange” set two years ago. Oliver De K, meanwhile, picked the better start time. “Geronimo” left about a day and a half after Fossett, and has averaged almost 20 knots over her first day, putting her slightly ahead of “Orange’s” Day 1 pace. In short, DeK is kicking Fossett’s ass, for now…



Ass-Kicked Fossett: “Maybe if I put on this rubber drysuit it won’t hurt so much….”

Annals of Inanity–In Other Planetary News…: With the Bush Administration pushing a return to space exploration, Space.Com informs us that land sales on various planetary orbs are picking up. Proving that in the internet era there is a sucker born every second, land-sale scams pitching plots on the Moon, Mars and beyond have relieved 2.5 million people in 180 countries of more than $1 million of their money. Deeds to, say, a one-acre crater on the Moon (going for $33, up dramatically in recent years), are totally bogus…sort of. A 1967 treaty outlaws property ownership by nations and governments beyond earth. But that hasn’t stopped Dennis Hope, the self-proclaimed “Head Cheese” of LunarEmbassy.com, from claiming he owns the rights to planetary property across the solar system. Hope claims a loophole in the treaty (i.e. it doesn’t prohibit individuals from owning property or homesteading beyond earth). And even though the title “Head Cheese” does not inspire confidence, Hope has got interplanetary legal scholars in a tizzy. It all could end up in court (can’t wait for “U.S. vs. Head Cheese;” could be bigger than OJ). Meanwhile, and it makes TWC weep,….plenty of Earthly morons are buying in, particularly since there is no shortage of interplanetary real estate agents. Take LunarRegistry.com . It doesn’t claim to own anything. But it does promise “a program through which you, your family, or your business enterprise can legally claim ownership of property on the Moon.” Proceeds will be pooled “in order to create the investment capital required to occupy and develop the Moon.” You can also buy the rights to name a star at the site (wouldn’t that be a perfect Valentines Day gift?), and the low-key pitch must be working. LunarRegistry claims more than 400,000 people have forked over the cash. But if TWC were in the market for a little land way, way out there, it would turn to the marketing geniuses at BuyUranus.Com, who make full use of the humor potential in the unfortunately-named planet. Here’s their pitch:

“We’re not just offering you a tiny, 1 acre parcel of land on the Moon, Mars or any other boring planet like some companies.

No, we’re giving you free and clear, legal title to a full square mile piece of Uranus!

Included in your deed are the full mining rights so you can penetrate deep inside your piece of Uranus.

If you’re worried about the population explosion on Uranus and don’t want to buy a piece of the surface of Uranus you can have a ring around Uranus or even a big bright moon!

As well as the bragging rights to claim you own a piece of Uranus you also get this wonderful presentation package of memorabilia to show how proud you are of it.

Once you own this packet you’ll never stop talking about Uranus.”

Perhaps. But it could cost you more than the price of the deed, if UK legal scholar Virgiliu Pop gets his way. In 2001 Pop laid claim to the sun, and the right to charge all users of its solar energy on other planets a fee. Now that would be some serious money….



Crater Condo: “Honey, honey. I know it doesn’t have running water, or heat, or, ummm, oxygen….But the view is spectacular!”

Mars Rover Update–Rockin’ On the Red World: It’s costing $820 million. The technology is fabulous. And we’re learning a lot about…rocks. NASA’s got two rovers on the planet Mars and in the past few days both have dedicated their little robot efforts to drilling and scanning the hard stuff. Spirit drilled a hole, and Opportunity did some hi-tech caressing. No results yet, but don’t get too excited. Coming up: Spirit will amble over to a crater dubbed Bonneville, about 1150 feet away. If the rover gets there that will set a new record for distance traveled on Mars. Records. That’s the sort of stuff TWC wants out of this mission. And if NASA was really cool, Spirit would pop some wheelies on the way….



Drilling on Mars: “This won’t hurt a bit….”

Cheyenne Day2–Hopscotching Weather Systems: Wetass Supremo Steve Fossett said that the first two days of his non-stop, globe-girdling sailing record bid would be complex. And it has been. Fossett’s 125-cat, “Cheyenne,” has been bobbing and weaving its way south, never going much more than 20 knots, and sometimes slowing to 4 or 5. After 2 days, “Cheyenne” had only covered 575 miles. Normally, she could cover all that in one good day. So Fossett and his crew are lagging behind the record pace, and the first few daily runs of current record holder “Orange” (see comparative positions here). Fossett, as is his style is staying cool:

“We didn’t actually stop for lunch, but we did hit an unexpected pocket of High pressure earlier today – and have missed one of our weather gate options. But we are finally going again and plan to head West until later tonight, when we will turn South and head straight for the Canaries, where we expect to pick up the Trades and a strong ride South. We’ll be satisfied to get to the equator 8-1/2 days from the start.”

8.5 days would be fine (it would be about a half day behind Orange’s transit). It’s a long, long track with lots of opportunities to make gains. But “Cheyenne” better get some pace on. Last night, TWC’s favorite Frenchman, Olivier De Kersauson, started his Jules Verne record bid in his huge trimaran. Typically, De Kersauson, who has more Jules Verne record attempts than anyone on the planet, announced that if he didn’t like the weather and his progress after 3 days…he would just turn around, go back to the start and wait for a better weather window. Hopefully, that won’t be necessary. Because right now, we have the global match race of the decade in progress…..



In the American corner….



In the French corner….

TWC Natural History News–Homing Pigeons…Don’t…Home: What do you mean? Don’t they take bearings on the sun? Nope, say researchers at Oxford University, who spent the last decade tracking carrier pigeons with GPS. They follow….roads. Just like we do. How did the scientists figure this out? Well, they tracked the pigeons and discovered that they flew unerringly along major roadways, and turned left or right onto side roads as necessary to get to their ultimate destinations. Some pigeons even flew around roundabouts, before exiting. This raises a few obvious questions: 1) in England, do they fly on the left side of the road? 2) Are there ever 4-pigeon pileups?; 3) Do they stop for traffic lights?; and, ummm, 4) WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO BEFORE ROADS?….Scientists will no doubt spend the next ten years answering some of these critically important queries…..



Commuter Pigeon: “Hi honey, sorry I’m late…The interstate was a parking lot, and the f*cking HOV lanes were closed again for repairs….”

“Wrong Way” VDH Update–Last Cape, Coming Up: Jean Luc Van Den Heede is now more than 90 days into his bid to set a new record for circumnavigating the globe solo and non-stop against the prevailing winds. And TWC reckons his voyage is just about as remarkable as Mon. Joyon’s. VDH is now a stunning 24 days ahead of the previous record holder, Philippe Monnet. Joyon smashed the solo “right way” record by about 20 days but he was sailing in a fast trimaran against a record put up by a slower monohull. Monnet sailed in a monohull and VDH is crushing the record in a monohull. No one has ever yet been insane enough to sail a multihull the “wrong way” around the world non-stop, because sailing a multihull into the prevailing winds would be one of the most exquisite tortures ever devised by man. But you know what? It will happen…and sooner rather than later because it is one of the only remaining great Firsts in the world of sailing records. Anyhow, if VDH keeps up his current pace–and he is about to round the Cape of Good Hope and turn north up the Atlantic–he may kick the westabout record as far out of reach as Joyon just kicked the eastabout record. Here are VDH’s thoughts on how he is doing compared to Monnet, despite some recent bad weather:

That hasn’t stopped us eating away bit by bit at Philippe Monnet’s time. I should remind you that he left from Brest in early January hoping to go far down south and pick up some favourable winds close to the Antarctic. He was stopped by the ice, which meant that he found himself off the Cape of Good Hope in early May, which is far from being the ideal period. He reached there the same time as a deep depression, which really slowed him down and forced him to shelter off Port Elisabeth for 25 hours. So tonight as I pass by this port I’ll get another 25 hours added to my lead, while I’m asleep!

I mean, being half-asleep, as with the oilrigs, the cargo ships, fishermen and whales, I have to keep one eye open!

What an incredible round-the-world record-breaking season this is. First Joyon, now VDH. Next up Fossett and DeKersauson, and possibly Jules Verne pioneer Bruno Peyron in a brand new 120-foot catamaran (more on that later)…..



“Smell you later, Monnet, I’ve just got one measly ocean to go before I’m home…..”

(Red: VDH; Blue: Monnet)