(Photos: Team Jenna Racing)
Since we’re on the subject of boarding today (see below), here’s a painful video example of how NOT to get down a mountain…
“This is going to be great. I hope they have the video camera rolling…”
Longtime TWC readers will remember Pasquale Scaturro, the adventurer who last year led the first Blue Nile expedition to get all the way from the source to the sea (click here to watch a Today show clip about the expedition). It took Scaturro and his buddy Gordon Brown 114 days to float the 3,260 miles, and along the way they survived big water, armed militias, the odd crocodile, and blinding sandstorms. Now Scaturro has completed an IMAX film of the adventure, called “Mystery Of The Nile.” If you want a sample of some of the great action in the film, watch the trailer here. The movie debuts tomorrow, and you can click here to see if it will be playing at an IMAX theater near you…
Crazyass Scaturro: “You’d better watch my movie, because I know you don’t want me coming to your house…”
Okay, it’s very hard to get your ass wet with this sport, but I’m sure you can work up an impressive rash. Sandboarding is…wait a minute, it’s totally obvious, why should I have to explain it? Suffice it to say, it makes boarding an all-year sport, and according to Outside it’s been around since the dune-happy ancient Egyptians. You can read all about sandboarding’s history here, and then move on to Sandboard Magazine’s website for everything else you need, including some small but watchable vids. We’ve got snowboarding. We’ve got sandboarding. Grassboarding can’t be too far off…
[Update: I was kidding about “grassboarding,” but lo and behold I just received the following e-mail: “You think grassboarding isn’t too far off eh? I’ve done it. When I was living in Mississippi, I was dying to learn how to snowboard. Not much snow in Mississippi, so I made grassboards out of plywood, shaped just like a snowboard. There’s also a shortage of hills in Mississippi, so we eventually moved on to towing them behind cars in fields. It was a blast. Only bad thing is you can’t steer… we had no bindings of any sort…
WILL”
Towing behind cars? Hello, Darwin Awards…]
“We’re definitely going to have to design some special underwear for this sport…”
“Hang in there, Dude. The good news is I don’t have to dig you out. The bad news is there’s a scorpion on your ass…”
“Damn, I knew sandboarding in Irag would be a mistake. I think “Dunes” just hit a mine…”
We’ve got more extreme skiing, forwarded to us by the ever-resourceful, ever-prolific “Uncle Bob” Steele. Click here to watch (Quicktime only, and it’s a large download so be patient, I promise you won’t regret it). Some of the scenes in this clip are so jaw-dropping and f-word-inducing that it has inspired the creation of a propietary TWC video rating system. The system will be based on how many times I think or mutter “no f*ckin’ way” as I watch the video, and this one is at least a 10…
“So far, so good. Next time I’m going to do this off a 100-foot cliff…”
(Photo: Scott Markewitz)
Ho-hum. It’s a boring old Wednesday. So why don’t we take a little trip to…Luna, courtesy of the interactive geniuses at Panoramas.dk. Just click here to instantly transport yourself to the lunar surface, click on the Apollo 17 lunar image and you’ve got a full-screen Quicktime (yes, you have to have Quicktime!) panorama, plus a few audio clips from the astronauts singing (singing?) and talking about what the Apollo missions and history. Just drag your mouse to rotate the view a full 360 degrees. Very, very cool. And you can also scroll down to click open views from Apollo 11 (which includes spine-tingling audio of Neil Armstrong describing in detail what the moon is like and uttering his famous “One small step…”), and Apollo 12. How did they do it? Here’s how:
“On July 20 ( July 21 GMT ) 1969 the first man stepped on the moon. During the next 3 years 6 missions to the moon was made and a total of 12 astronauts walked on the moon. One of the missions Apollo 13 failed and they had to return.
During these missions thousands of images were taken, most of them with the Hasselblad EDC. A special version of the Hasselblad 500 EL. Many of these images are famous, like the one from Apollo 11 showing Buzz Aldrin with Neil Armstrong reflected in the glass of his helmet. (It is available in super resolution from the panorama).
Less known is that during all the missions they made image sequences which with todays computer technics can be stitched together into 360o interactive panoramas giving you the possibillity to view the moon almost as you were there…”
And if you ever get bored of the Moon, hey just head on over to Mars…
Buzz “Big Dog” Aldrin: “Hey, Neil! Enough with the photos and that blinding flash. Let’s go play golf…”
I guess it was only a matter of time. The world’s first 5-star undersea resort-called, of course, the Poseidon Resort–is in the final design stage and looking to start building in the Bahamas. It will feature luxury suites up to 60-feet below the surface, made of clear acrylic for undersea views. So far, so good. But then it gets pretty cheesy, with plans for private artificial reefs outside each room, fish feeders so guests can start their own feeding frenzy (I wonder if they’ll allow bloody chum for some really exciting fish feeding), and the possibility of submarine tours of nearby reefs. The whole thing will be accessed by an escalator, and will include a revolving restaurant with transparent walls. The cost: a cool $1500 a night. If you are intrigued you can read all about the concept and design here. Still interested? Then the FAQ can be found here, including the all-important “How safe is this sucker?” (okay, that’s not exactly how they phrase it, but here’s the answer: “The resort is built to rigid safety requirements with high levels of structural integrity, large safety factors and fully redundant fail-safe systems. Each room is completely isolated from the central hall and other rooms with a double pressure proof door system and independent emergency life support systems.”) I guess you’ll have to check your hammer at the door…
I’m sorry, but this thing has “white elephant” stamped all over it. I see algae all over the windows, dying reefs all around, enless annoying leaks, and tame, overfed fish. It will make a great setting for an undersea disaster movie, however. Hmm. “Poseidon II.” A presidential visit, terrorists, marauding sea life. The thing practically writes itself…
If You Like To Watch: “Honey, forget the stupid clown fish. Just check out what that couple next door is doing…”
Well, Francis Joyon may have just lost his most prized solo sailing record to L’ Petit Anglais, but he’s not sitting around crying in his Perrier. Instead, he’s fixing his aging, 90-foot trimaran up, and heading to New York for a crack at the 10-year old transatlantic record.
“I shall be on stand-by in New York from early April, waiting for a window in the weather to set sail on an attempt at the Transatlantic crossing record from West to East. It’s a long-standing record, but is also the most difficult one to beat single-handed. It’s very enticing [TWC translation: “Thank God she didn’t nab this one, too”], and this route will also perhaps allow me to tackle the 24-hour solo record,” Joyon said. “Ellen MacArthur has just finished a rapid round the world voyage, and in fact, I thought she would improve on the 24-hour record. In spite of her success, that wasn’t the case [TWC translation: “See, she’s not Superwoman..”], which just goes to show that it’s not going to be an easy matter.”
Here are the numbers in play:
• New York – The Lizard route (theoretical distance calculated by the WSSRC): 2925 miles (5417 km)
• Single-handed record: Laurent Bourgnon, Primagaz, 7 days 2 hours 34 minutes 42 seconds (June 1994)
• 24 hour solo record: Laurent Bourgnon, Primagaz, 540 miles (June 1994)
Ellen has targeted this record also. It would be great if she and Joyon could set off together, but it seems unlikely she could get to New York in time (plus, I suspect she needs just a wee rest). So we have the possibility of deja vu all over again. Joyon breaks a major record. Ellen follows and steals the glory. It’s a cruel, cruel sport…
Jittery Joyon: “If I nail this one and she only lets me enjoy it for a few months I’m going to take up farming…”
Maybe it’s the fumes, but combustion engines make people do some crazy things…
I’ll do anything for a case of Labatt’s…
Lance Armstrong better get out of my way…
213 feet, 6 inches. I’m channeling Evel Knievel…
“Of course I look a little wild-eyed. I just pulled off a world record jump, and then had to run from the fuzz…”
A Swedish couple–Clara Ahlstroem, 38, and Hannu Kiviaho, 41–yesterday set the Swedish record for the longest kiss. Remarkably, given Sweden’s racy reputation, it took a liplock lasting a measly 1 hour and 34 minutes to take the title. That puts them in the pucker minor leagues. The world record, which has been held by two extremely amorous Americans since 1991, stands at a lip-bruising 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds. Alstroem and Kiviaho, of course, had an excuse for their pathetic showing. They claimed Clara had a nasty cold.
Okay, you might not consider this an extreme sport. But you would be wrong. Because according to Swedish pharmacy Apoteket (which sponsored the Swedes) a peck on the cheek requires the use of 12 separate facial muscles, and a French kiss employs an energy-sapping 34. Moreover, kissers burn an impressive four calories a minute. So you can log some pretty decent exercise this way. But make sure you know who your workout partner is. Apoteket, which was hoping to promote mouth hygiene with the stunt, also helpfully pointed out that over the course of a single kissing “rep” two open mouthed exercisers on average exchange 40,000 parasites, 250 different types of bacteria, along with varying amounts of salt, fat, protein and other organic substances. Thanks alot, Apoteket. Way to kill the romance of Valentine’s Day… 
Kissing Clara: “Oh man, flu or not my only shot at this is to keep my eyes firmly closed. Damn, what’s that dribbling down my chin…”
(Photo: AFP)
The Earthist Chronicles 