Have A Wetass Weekend…:
“If I close my eyes and maintain position, maybe my bike will magically reappear beneath me before I land…”
Category: Uncategorized
Watersport Wackiness…: There’s been a lot of video this week already. But I couldn’t resist posting this wild compilation of waterskiing and jetskiing wipeouts. Note that most of the time the problem is due to some seriously poor driving. Anyhow, it made me laugh, particularly the little kid in the last scene who was the only one among a group of adults who had the sense to get the hell out of the way…
“Hey, Bob. I know you can’t see cuz you’re driving. But is the head dunk a standard move…?”
Ugliness At The Top Of The World–Fear And Loathing On Everest: Earlier this year, a seven-member climbing team from Connecticut went to Everest. Michael Kodas, a reporter for the Hartford Courant, was a member of the team, there to document the climb. The expedition was led by Romanian immigrant George Dijmarescu and his wife, Lhakpa Sherpa, both experienced Everest climbers. It was supposed to be a story of adventure and triumph. It turned into a saga of brutality and abuse, with Dijmarescu threatening clients (“From now on, I will do all I can to hunt this bitch down, like a hiena [sic]”), punching out his wife, and turning the whole adventure into a twisted mountainous version of “Lord Of The Flies.” Not to mention all the porn in the mess tent, sherpa rebellion on the mountain, and allegations of oxygen poaching. You can read the harrowing, gut-wrenching, Made-For-TV, story here (free reg required). Here’s just a taste, and the whole thing is well worth the time:
Russell Brice, an Everest legend who has been climbing in the Himalayas for 30 years, 10 of them running commercial expeditions to Everest, wanted to talk to me in Base Camp. Last year, on his 13th Everest expedition, all his clients reached the summit. This year more than 100 people lived in his tents, which spread out in long rows like a suburban subdivision.
In the frontier town that is Everest Base Camp, Brice is something akin to Wyatt Earp. Not everyone agrees with the rules he and the rest of the mountain’s most experienced guides impose, but they’re the only order high on the mountain.
He had problems with our expedition, and George in particular.
“He’s cheating you guys,” Brice said, sitting amid memorials to fallen climbers on a hill above his camp. “He organizes an expedition and doesn’t take responsibility.”
Brice was getting cheated, too, he said. While we prided ourselves on climbing without guides, he said we were really just parasites feeding off the work and resources of bigger expeditions.
Each year, Brice hosts a meeting in Advanced Base Camp to determine what each expedition will contribute toward installing the ropes that are critical to the safety of all the climbers on the mountain. But George led us down to Base Camp the day before this year’s meeting. We didn’t hear about the meeting for nearly a week.
George doesn’t do his part on the mountain, Brice said.
This year, the expeditions that did contribute only managed to fix ropes up to Camp Three, the last camp before the summit. Brice had enough rope to equip the summit, but wouldn’t put them up until his clients were climbing. Those who went for the summit earlier would hang on old and dangerously tattered lines.
He said our expedition was causing problems lower on the mountain, too. One of our cooks was sent down alone to Base Camp when he became altitude sick. Friends who found him in our cook tent three days later were convinced he was dying.
“The kitchen boy was sent down with no support and no medicine,” Brice charged. “I used two bottles of oxygen to care for [him]. Am I ever going to get that back from George?”
Experience made him confident he could forecast our future.
“You’re going to run out of food,” he said, predicting as well that the shortage of provisions would end some climbers’ chances for the summit prematurely.
“He probably didn’t tell you about the tip structure for the Sherpas’ trips to high camps,” Brice added. When we told Brice that George had each climber who wanted help from a Sherpa hire one individually, he was flabbergasted. “That’s not how you do it,” he said incredulously. “You hire your Sherpas as a team.”
Brice said that when he first came to Everest, climbers banded together and helped each other out. Today, he said, many hide to avoid responsibility or lurk in the shadows to exploit other teams.
“These people are in my tents, in my sleeping bags, using my gas and eating my food,” Brice said.
Brice has had oxygen bottles stolen and tents filled with crucial equipment thrown from the mountain.
“I drop oxygen at Camp Three and you come and take it and it’s not there for my client,” Brice said. “That’s manslaughter.”
His tents were once open to any climber desperate for a port in a storm. These days there are locks on the doors.
Later, Tina Sjogren, one of the founders of Explorer’s Web, and an Everest summiteer herself, picked up the story. Here’s what she got back from Dijmarescu:
“…you understood that I was accused several times of criminal activity and you made little or no effort to do an investigative work toward the truth…You believe I only threatening you with a law suit. As I asked before and ask AGAIN:
PLEASE PROVIDE ME WITH YOUR PHYSICAL ADDRESS OF MOUNTEVEREST.NET/EXPLORESWEB.COM AND ITS OWNERS AND YOU WILL SEE FOR YOURSELF, SOONER, I AM NOT BLUFFING
YOU HAVE 30 (THIRTY) DAYS TO RETRACT YOUR ARTICLE ON MOUNTEVEREST.NET. THAT TIME STARTS TODAY DEC 6TH 2004.
YOUR RETRACTION SHALL BE ON THE SAME PAGE AS EQUALLY AS NOTORIOUS AS THE FRONT PAGE OF MOUNTEVEREST.NET”
Does that sound like someone you’d like to be above 8,000 meters with? You can also read the raw expedition blog, and check out the photo gallery. But Explorer’s Web has the two most important photos…
George Dijmarescu
His Handiwork: Team members carry the unconscious Lhakpa to the cook tent.
(Photos: Hartford Courant and Michael Kodas, via Explorer’s Web)
Vendee Globe Update–Here Comes A Good ‘Ol Southern Ocean Pasting: Well, it didn’t take the big winds, and rough seas of The South to start pruning the Vendee fleet. Our man, Alex Thomson on Hugo Boss, was forced out when his boom broke loose and speared a hole in his coachroof. And Herve Laurent on UUDS, and Norbert Sedlacek (great name; I bet he got beat up a lot in grade school) on Brother, are also out with damage. And the Southern Ocean is only getting warmed up. This weekend it is going to absolutely cream the two front-runners, PRB and Bonduelle, with 50 knot winds and mountainous 35-foot waves. The rest of the fleet will feel it, but not as bad. Latest daily report here. Latest positions here.Want a sense of how cool these guys are? Here’s leader Vincent Riou’s take on the forecast: “I think we’re going to have 40 to 50 knots but I’m not worried about it, we’ll just have to try not to go too crazy with the boat speed. It’s going to freshen up a bit and it looks like it will be pretty sporty. You really can’t helm at the moment, so shockingly perhaps, I’m only helming for about 1% of the time and we’re in survival mode down below.” “Pretty sporty.” I think I’ll start using that instead of “Force 10.” Alrigthy, then. No great surfing videos yet. But go to the video page and check out Dominique Wavre’s 12/09 clip to get a feel for the howl of the wind and the speed of the boats. Hope they all survive the weekend…
The Hole On Hugo Boss: Not exactly Southern Ocean watertight…
Department Of Stunning Natural Phenomena–Aurora Borealis: Ever seen one? No? Well, thanks to our weather-obssessed buddy Mike Hollingshead at Extreme Instability, you can see all you want right here. No LSD was involved…
Ellen Update–Slip, Sliding Away: Le Petit Anglais’ fourteen hour lead on Francis Joyon at the Equator has been whittled down to just over 12 hours, with more pain to come. Click here for the latest daily report. And here for the latest 3D animation comparing B&Q’s course to Joyon’s IDEC. Up ahead, the weather gods do not look as if they will give Ellen a free pass to the Southern Ocean (here’s the analysis), so she is resigning herself to losing a pile of time to Joyon, who waltzed right through this area.
If you are wondering how Ellen is staying healthy through all this, her sports nutritionist is happy to summarize the nutrition situation:
“Physically and mentally Ellen is pushing herself to her limits. Her body is flooded with stress hormones that mobilise her fuel stores (fat and muscle), dampen her appetite, reduce gastric secretions and direct blood away from the gut. Stress hormones provide the body with all it needs for shorts bursts of powerful energy, whilst also ensuring a full gut doesn’t make a quick power burst impossible. Whilst these hormones may be lifesaving in the very short-term, over longer periods of time they can weaken the body and seriously impair performance. It is important to combat some of the effects of these hormones, such as the reduced appetite, so that Ellen will remain strong throughout her challenge.”
Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? And the hard part has not even started yet…
“Damn, I’m slowing down. Better strip to my underwear again…”
Annals of Kiting Craziness–Maui to Molokai: The difference between the massive AAPT kite Sean Langmann is sailing with and the kite of a kitesurfer is just a matter of degree. And thanks to TWC reader Dan Phelps, here’s something in between: a bunch of guys who race an outrigger canoe across the fearsome Pailolo Channel…pulled by a 12-meter Naish kite. Here’s an account of the action, from “Bailer” and “Communications” specialist Todd Carle. And here’s the take from steersman Loch Eggers. They survived winds of 15 to 45 knots, and seas of 6-10 feet. Here’s part of the action:
“It wasn’t long before we pasted all our competitors and became the lead contender early on in the race…Shortly after the helicopter arrive we found that the swells were getting larger and we were finding ourselves surfing down the wave at over 15 knots, while Loch ,our steersman, was fighting with everything he had to keep the canoe from twisting away from him and dodging with his paddle and hitting sometimes the rear mounted camera . Don kept the kite steady and keeping the kite in one spot most of the time in fear of powering up the kite too much and risk breaking the lines…And Barkley, our on board dentist and bailer, kept the morale up by telling Don, who could not turn around because he was concentrating on the kite, that the canoe was dry and everything was under control, all the while we sunk twice and we were continually bailing with an endless of waves crashing into our hull, sometimes both of us were bailing at the same time, throughout the entire race…”
Sound implausible, even outrageous? Well, it’s all on video and you can watch it right here. Dan spent some time tracking this down, so thank him, then shut up and enjoy…
Molokai Ho!: “Uh, Loch. We’re doing fifteen knots and the island is coming up fast. Did Naish by any chance tell you where the brakes on this thing are…?”
Video Wednesday I–Wetass Video Of The Week: Before I descend into silliness and irrelevance (see below), kick back and watch this great video (shot from a helo) of Le Defi Wind, one of the biggest long distance windsurfing races in Europe. It’s staged in the south of France, and last May pulled in more than 400 competitors…
“Damn it’s crowded!”…”Stop whining! At least you’re in the South of France!”
Video Wednesday II–Fun With Animals: I don’t know what it is, but today it’s all animals, all the time, here at The Wetass Chronicles (see below, too). And we’ve got ’em on tape:
Did you ever wonder: How high can a bear bounce?
Do horses mind being branded…?
“Mama didn’t raise no stupid bears. And the only way you’re going to make me bounce on this thing is if you put me in a tree and shoot me with a tranquilizer gun…”
Video Wednesday III–Animal Kingdom Smackdown: Check out this tense video. Reality TV at its best. In one corner: a young grizzly bear. In the other: a pack of wolves. The prize: a rotting moose carcass. No one ever said it was easy out there…
“Damn, missed again. Guess I’m going to have to go fight those stupid wolves for moose scraps…”
The Earthist Chronicles 