Category: Uncategorized

Dumbass Video Of The Week…: Do you know what your kids are up to? Just pray they are not as bored as this pair. Click here to see why…



“Sure it hurts, but did you see me hit that sucker…”

Going To Extremes–Aaron Ralston: Remember this guy? Went bouldering in Utah in April 2003, without telling anyone where he would be…Gets trapped when a boulder shifts and rolls onto his right arm…Survives six days on hallucinations and urine…Hacks arm off with multitool and escapes death…Becomes media darling, lands fat publishing contract. Well, his book–“Between A Rock And A Hard Place” (how predictable was that?)–is finally in boosktores and Outside has a long excerpt. Here’s the moment of disaster:

“Right in front of me, just below the ledge, is a second chockstone the size of a large bus tire, stuck fast in the three-foot channel between the walls. If I can step onto it, I can dangle off the chockstone, then take a short fall to the canyon floor. Stemming across the canyon with one foot and one hand on each wall, I traverse out above the chockstone. With a few precautionary jabs, I kick down at the boulder. It’s jammed tightly enough that it will hold my weight. I lower myself from the chimneying position and step onto the chockstone. It supports me but teeters slightly. Facing upcanyon, I squat on my haunches and grip the rear of the lodged boulder. Sliding my belly over the front edge, I hang from my fully extended arms.

I feel the stone respond to my adjusting grip with a scraping quake. Instantly, I know this is trouble, and instinctively I let go of the rotating boulder to land on the round rocks on the canyon floor. I look up, and the backlit chockstone consumes the sky. Fear shoots my hands over my head. I can’t move backwards or I’ll fall over a small ledge.

The next three seconds play out in slow motion. The falling rock smashes my left hand against the south wall; I yank my left arm back as the rock ricochets in the confined space; the boulder then crushes my right hand, thumb up, fingers extended; the rock slides another foot down the wall with my arm in tow, tearing the skin off the lateral side of my forearm. Then, silence….

Good Christ, my hand. The flaring agony throws me into a panic. I grimace and growl a sharp “Fuck!” I yank my arm three times in a naive attempt to pull it out from under the rock. But I’m stuck.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit!” I shove against the boulder, heaving against it, pushing with my left hand, lifting with my knees pressed under the rock. I brace my thighs under the boulder and thrust upward, grunting, “Come on … move!”

Nothing.

I’m sweating hard. With my left hand, I lift my right shirtsleeve and wipe my forehead. My chest heaves. I need a drink, but, sucking on my CamelBak hose, I find my water reservoir is empty.

I still have my full Nalgene bottle, but it takes me a few seconds to realize I won’t be able to sling my pack off my right arm. Once I shrug my left arm free of the pack strap, I expand the right-side strap, tuck my head inside the loop, and pull the whole thing down my left side, to my feet. Extracting the water bottle, I unscrew the top and, before I realize what I’m doing, gulp three large mouthfuls, then halt to pant for breath. Then it hits me: In five seconds, I’ve just guzzled a third of my water supply.”

Oops. The story continues and you can follow Aron’s tortuous mental journey to the place where it actually makes sense to hack his own arm off. But–sorry–if you want to read about what it is like to saw off a limb, you’ll have to buy Aron’s book (I guess his publisher thinks there is only one reason people will buy this thing). Instead, if you thirst for more stories of human agony and survival, you can read Outside’s ghoulish and gripping sidebar–10 Scariest Survival Stories. Happily for anyone frustated by Ralston’s coy excerpt, it contains yet another “amputate or die story,” in which one William Jeracki parts with an even larger limb (hope you already ate your breakfast):

“He had to make a choice: amputate his leg or wait for help and risk dying of exposure. After three hours he pulled a pocketknife from his tackle box, tied off his leg with fishing line, and began sawing through his flesh at the knee. He sliced through tendons, nerves, and his patellar ligament until his femur slid out of the knee socket.”

Okay. That’s enough self-dissection for one day. But the moral of these stories is obvious: always carry a very, very sharp knife…



Ripsaw Ralston: “What? Jeracki sawed off a LEG!? Wonder why he didn’t write a book…”

(Photo: Kurt Markus/Outside)

Annals Of Adventure–SailRocket Frustrations: Paul Larsen’s space-age catamaran–which is supposed to rocket him to a new speed sailing world record and break the hallowed 50 knot barrier–keeps dogging along. He might as well call the thing “SprayRocket,” because the driver gets so lashed with flying water he can barely see. Worse, the thing won’t top 30 knots, even in wind conditions in which the theoretical models say it should be doing 40-plus knots. What’s the problem? Larson and his team don’t know. But he has posted a brutally honest assessment of the project and boat to the SailRocket website, which makes for intriguing reading. Here’s an excerpt:

“The boat accelerates in jerks and when it ‘hooks-in’ nothing will keep up with it but as quickly as the burst starts … it seems to stop. One thing is for certain, the mile long causeway course is getting gobbled up at a fair rate…Once up to speed and on course the boat responds directly to the mainsheet accelerating almost instantly. By this time your eyes are burning and you are beginning to worry about what may be around you. The coarse tune on the mainsheet is getting pretty solid and you are moving onto the fine tune. Looking backwards away from the spray is a luxury. You try a few more tweaks to course and sail and then slow down just to see where you have ended up and to make sure that the runway is still clear. One more burst and then it is all over.

I remain confident that there is a beast in there that is yet to be let loose. It feels like playing with gunpowder but not having the formula quite right. At the moment it is only sparking. It is most likely to be a cumulative thing that is holding us back. A whole bunch of little issues that add up to a whole. We are still not hooking into that ‘Ramjet’ equation where a boat with no heeling moment feeds off the apparent wind, boat speed equation and rides it to the end. There is a drag hump that needs to be overcome and our first efforts will go into improved planing surfaces and less spray which will lead to less waves by being able to sail alongside the shore in the right conditions.”

Can you spell FRUSTATION? Hope the gunpowder explodes soon, or it could be time to scuttle this dog…



“Damn, if I sink any deeper I’m going need to need to start wearing scuba gear…Say, that kitesurfing looks fun.”

Wetass Websites–Cape Lookout: One of the great things about the internet is that every day there is something new to listen to or look at online (and no, I’m not talking about porn…). TWC has linked you to web cams watching ospreys and German boars. Now I’m gettiing into streaming sounds. And if you like dolphins (and who doesn’t?) the website for the Cape Lookout Studies Program has it all: pics, movies, and a streaming audio clip. The audio reminds me of the dialogue in the B-classic, Day Of The Dolphin (“Phaa loves Paaa”). So, to listen to what our flippered friends are saying about us, click here. If you listen to it over and over maybe you’ll learn dolphin. Or run it in a loop and weird your office-mates out. First reader to provide a translation wins a free, umm, something…



Do They Know Their Waters Are Bugged?: “Okay, Dude. Ashcroft can’t hear you now that you’re in the air. So what were you saying about Bush snorting cocaine at Camp David…?”

Annals Of Adventure–Agony On K2: TWC has said it once–okay more than once–and now I’ll say it again. Forget Everest. The toughest 8,000 meter mountain out there–along with Annapurna–is K2. Fewer people have climbed, a greater percentage have died trying, it’s the mountain of mountains. This year was the 50th anniversary of the Italian expedition that first topped the beast, and lots of climbers have been out there trying to match their feat. Two of them–Juanito Oiarzabal (48) and Edurne Pasaban (30)–are Spaniards, and they succeeded in getting to the summit and back (making Erdune the only woman still living who has been to the top). But it was a horrific ordeal, and came at a high price. Juanito and Erdune gave a searing interview to El Correo Digital, from their hospital beds in Islamabad, and Explorer’s Web has published it in a three part series. Juanito and Erdune were brutally frank, so if you want to get as close as you can to climbing the damn thing yourself, check it out:

Part 1. Late Italians, a gale at The Bottleneck, and killer snow conditions: “[A]t first it was OK, but once inside the Bottleneck it f*cked up. We started to climb, and had the first quarrel. We all had doubts. But I was the only one who had been there before. I was the one who knew what lay ahead. So I had a little fight with you (pointing to Edurne) when you said: “come on, let’s go up!”. I answered “What the…? Look Edurne, I am the only one here who has climbed this mountain and I know what to do up there and what’s still left, so be quiet and let’s think about what we should do!”

Part 2. The Agony Of The Summit: “We were climbing 150 m pitches on only one safety screw; there was no way to put anything else. Each of the pitches took about one hour and a half. There was so much snow that we actually had to swim in it. There was nothing but tricks on that f*cking peak. So with that, of course, time passed… Then an Italian showed he had guts and opened the trail up to the summit ridge and, from there, to the final saddle….The last steps were plainly impossible to take. I couldn’t bear the pain.”

Part 3. Trouble: “And I tell Juan, “Hey, I think I am not getting out of here, eh? I am f*cking bad and I am going to f*cking have a tough time to get out.” I recall clearly saying exactly that. But I managed to stand back up on my feet again and Silvio roped us and helped us back down to the saddle. There, at 8500m, the night fell. So I grabbed Juan again, who was there waiting for us and told him: “Juan, I am f*cked up”…We crossed every limit and every rule an alpinist is supposed to maintain!”



Erdune Pasaban, Queen of K2: “Hey! I was there to climb that damn mountain…so I climbed it!”

(Photo: Via Explorer’s Web)

Mekong First Descent Program Note: Some readers have e-mailed TWC to express interest in “Thong”–the great Thai paddler Mick met along the way–and his plans for a water preservation foundation. I can’t find a direct contact for him, but any reader who is interested in trying to reach Thong–or finding out more about Mick and paddling adventures in Asia–should contact Mick’s adventure outfitting operation, Wildside Laos. The e-mail is info@wildside-asia.com.

“Mekong” Mick’s Wildass Adventure–Chapter 18: In which Mick navigates the “Four Thousand Islands” and the Khone Falls (12 klics wide; 10 meters high; more water than Niagara)…:

“Thong was forced to leave us after just one week after a relative passed away and be bade him farewell at the border town of Nakhon Phanom. Along the way we started to hear more and more stories of an incredible phenomena that the locals call “Bung fai payanaak” or the Mekong fireballs. For reasons not fully understood, every year around the full moon of Buddhist lent, large luminous balls of light rise up out of the murky depths of the Mekong and float up into the atmosphere.

Personally I was very skeptical about the phenomena and simply put it down to folk law but I was intrigued enough to interview various people about what their experiences. I found that the event has been recorded by locals in the area for hundreds of years and I must admit that after interviewing dozens of locals and even some well respected foreigners who all claimed to have seen the phenomena first hand, I’m now a little more receptable to the concept. I’ll be back next year to check them out for myself.

Not far from Nakhon Phanom the Mekong cuts eastward into Laos leaving Thailand behind and we made our way to the southern Lao capital of Pakse. It was here that we met a couple of interesting Belgians from UXO (Unexploded Ordinance) Lao. They were technical advisors to Lao staff who had the rather dubious job of picking up and disposing of the millions of unexploded bombs left over from US saturation bombing of Laos during the late 60’s and early 70’s.

Most people will be surprised to know that the most bombed country in the history of war fare is none other than Laos in South East Asia and what is worse is that of the millions of tons dropped, about 30% did not go off!!. As seems to be the case today, during the 60’s and early 70’s the US administration in Washington decided that if they killed lots of people in the third world that these people would change their view on the world and take to the American way of life. So without telling their own citizens the US government commenced saturation bombing of Laos that directly cost the lives of tens of thousands of Lao civilians. Of course all that killing of civilians had the affect of turning everyone against the foreign superpower and a s the communists were the only people fighting back, most of the Lao population abruptly joined the communist party even though many had no real communist ambitions. Hmm!! It all sounds a bit familiar doesn’t it! One would hope the bureaucrats in Washington would have tried to learn something from this little episode in history. Recent events suggest not.

To all the UXO teams in Laos keep up the great work and we certainly hope that after another 150 – 200 years (conservative estimate) you can successfully clean up the mess that has been left in Laos by miss guided US foreign policy.

Finally we made it down to one of the most amazing parts of the Mekong called “the four thousand islands”. At this point the Mekong braids out into various channels that make up a unique seasonal wetland habitat that can only be found in a select few places on earth such as the Amazon basin. Just before the river crosses into Cambodia at a breadth of 12 kilometers it tumbles off a fault line some 10 meters deep. The “Khone falls” are not as high as Niagara or Victoria falls in Africa but they do have more water tumbling off them making them an impressive sight at any time of year.

A favorite breeding ground for fish and hang out for the extremely rare Mekong Irrawaddy Dolphin, the falls are also home to some of the bravest fishermen on earth. We hung out with these fascinating men who risk their lives on a daily basis in and around the violent rapids to catch the sizable fish in the area.

The falls presented the last major navigational barrier for the Mekong First Descent Project. On previous paddle trips to the falls I had located and navigated various challenging class 5 runs down the fault line but with a tight schedule to keep and with people waiting for us just downstream in Cambodia I was forced to semi portage the locally famous “Liphi falls” (A central channel of the Khone Falls) after scouting two unviable channels and simply running out of time. This was particularly frustrating as I knew that if we only had a half a day or so available to scout alternative routes then I would definitely be able to run the drop as part of the Mekong descent but I guess it was not meant to be on this trip and at least it w as a section that I had previously run.

And so ended the middle Mekong section of the descent through Laos, Thailand and Myanmar. It would take weeks of writing to really go into all of the captivating moments which made the stretch so special but for now that can wait. It would suffice to say that the middle Mekong surpassed my expectations and inspired me in countless ways. It doesn’t get better than this!”

Well, that’s it for now. Mick’s Mum is on a secret mission, so we won’t be hearing any more from her until the whole descent is over and done with. But we’re hoping to speak directly with Mick himself. So stay tuned…



A Day On The Mekong: Check out the local kayak design…

(Photo: Courtesy Lynley O’Shea)

Have A Wetass (3-Day) Weekend…

Wetass Accessories–WaterCar: TWC can always count on the gearheads at Gizmo to keep us up on the latest in weird watercraft. And here’s the latest entrant into the exploding amphibious sports car market. It’s called the March “WaterCar,” and it’s based on that American icon, the Camaro (with a Turbo charged 2.5-litre 300hp Subaru engine dropped into a 2002-Camaro fiberglass shell). This pocket rocket does 125 mph on land, and owns the amphibious speed record at 45 mph. Richard Branson, call your personal shopper! Click here to watch some very cool videos that will bring a smile to your face and start you wondering whether you just might be able to buy one of these babies if you mortgage your house…



“Heh-heh. The shoreline is approaching fast. Wonder how Bob is going to like wakeboarding at 100 mph…on the dirt!”

“Mekong” Mick’s Wildass Adventure–Chapter 17: Mick hits the big city, and is joined on the water by Thailand’s most famous paddler, a man named “Thong.” Thong has an unbelievable tale of murder, mistaken identity, bitterness and salvation. Read on…:

“Over the following week we crept down the Mekong as it made a lengthy detour into Laos. The friendly smiles and welcoming nature of the locals we stayed with made the stretch even more memorable. Most of the people we met were fishermen and farmers, etching a subsistence way of life from the Mekong and the lushly forested mountains, which surround it. Along with Malaysia, Laos maintains the highest percentage of old growth forest cover in Asia at 40% of the land area. We surveyed as many locals as we could to gain a clearer understanding of their relationship with the river and its environments.

For most, fish caught in the Mekong made up the bulk of their families protein intake yet all noted with concern that catches had diminished significantly in recent years. Few understood the reasons behind the river not rising as it once did in the early months of the monsoon and none were aware e that this problem would continue to get steadily worse as further dams in China come on line. These subsistence farmers and fishermen will increasingly shoulder the cost of the Chinese economic boom and subsequent thirst for cheap electricity yet it appears that they will not share in the benefits.

We arrived at the former royal capital of Laos, Luang Prabang. With its unique history and its mixture of traditional Lao crossed with French colonial architecture the town has recently been awarded world heritage status. Gilded temples abound, as do great restaurants and a thriving night bizarre where ethnic minorities bring their wonderful handicrafts for sale. Despite becoming a relatively busy tourist destination Luang Prabang has to date managed to maintain the feel of a country town with a touch of royal elegance. We spent 3 days visiting waterfalls, temples and other historic sights before heading south.

I lost Brian and Hutch for a couple of days when the zodiac they were using had engine troubles and finally met them in the riverside capital of Laos, Vientiane. More of an oversized town than a city Vientiane provided the base from which we rested up and arranged various interviews and meetings for the documentary before again crossing into Thailand.

We were fortunate to arrive just in time to witness the candle festival in Nongkhai complete with incredibly elaborate floats made almost entirely of bees wax; they really were works of art. We also attended a small press conference where we met Thailand’s most famous and intrepid paddler, Mr Rattapoom Youprom or “Thong” as he preferred to be called.

Thong had just finished his own amazing 3000 kilometer solo journey across the entire coastline of Thailand unsupported. As soon as he heard about a solo navigation of the Mekong River, Thong knew he had to come and join us for a while. The longer I knew Thong and the more his life story unfolded as we paddled south between Laos and Thailand the more I came to respect this incredible man.

Thongs expedition was inspired by a great need to come to peace with himself after a life altering experience shattered his world. Thongs mother and nephew were brutally murdered by a contract killer who hit the wrong targets and Thong discovered the aftermath. In a strange twist the assassin turned out to be a former childhood friend of Thongs who had turned to a life of drugs and crime. Thong was initially consumed with hate, pain and a desire for revenge and knew that these emotions would eat him up from inside and or lead to a life behind bars if he carried out his bitter plans.

His answer was to leave the world behind and take to the ocean in a bid to save his sanity and his soul. For 7 months he paddled unsupported along the Thai coastline living as a sea gypsy and in true Buddhist style lived off the generosity of local people who believe they gain merit for the next life through helping others on their quest for inner peace.

He is an amazing character. Today he is the epitome of a man at peace with himself. Friendly, at ease, patient and in love with life Thong has dealt with his demons and given up his previous goals of wealth and riches to focus on making the world a slightly nicer place in which to live. Thong is in the process of creating a “water” foundation in Thailand to dedicate resources to the conservation of the nations precious aquatic resources. Go Thong!”

Tomorrow: Mekong fireballs, and unexploded ordnance…



“Good morning, Aussie paddler Dude. Ready for breakfast…?”

(Photo: Courtesy Lynley O’Shea)