Wetass Toys–The Gibbs “Humdinga”: Perhaps it was inevitable. Alan Gibbs, the brains behind the “Aquada” amphibious car (which Richard Branson recently “drove” across the English Channel), has done what all auto designers these days seem to do: designed an SUV. Gibbs’ “Humdinga” is a full-time, 5-seat, 4WD SUV on land. But with the flip of a switch it turns into an amphibious assault ship that rockets across water. Gibbs is not the kind of guy who skimps on power. This thing will do more than 70 mph on terra firma, and almost 40 mph on the local river. Natural SUV questions: is it more prone to rollover? And how will “Aquada” drivers fare when they collide with a “Humdinga”? Finally, how long before Governor Arnold buys one…?
Humdinga Hijinks: “Hey, 10 points if you run over that duck, and then I think I see a fisherman we can scare the crap out of…”
Category: Uncategorized
Wetass Video Of The Week…: Monster waves. Peahi, Maui. The world’s best big wave surfers. Check out this trailer for “The Ride Of The Day” (click here for Quicktime; here for Windows Media). Signature Surfer Zen quote: “Everything’s alright until it isn’t.” It’s worth the download wait…
(Courtesy of Surfer Magazine)
Anne Quemere’s Transatlantic Odyssey–Going Nowhere Slowly: Well, time to check in again on French rower Anne, who’s attempting to become the first woman to row the Atlantic (or any ocean, for that matter) both ways. She’s 33 days in and has pulled herself 953 miles down the track, with 2301 miles to go, so she’s not even a third of the way home (this “sport” requires some serious stubbornness). The Ocean Rowing Society has got all the charts and stats if you want to see what she’s up against. So, are you having fun, Anne? Let’s check your dispatch from June 30 to see:
“I had to face a very rough sea with winds of 40 Kts or even more. Under these conditions, I cannot leave the Connetable drift north, facing possible head winds and ice. Attached to the floating anchor, the boat made my life miserable all night, resounding like a drum under the beating of the breakers. I trust the boat but still I have never heard the rope of the anchor mewing and screeching with such force. Hours were passing by slowly as I was trying to stay calm, having done all I could, everything was in order aboard and, laying down, I was trying to take some rest while staying alert to the outside noises. I was under the impression that the wind was turning SW. It happened without warning, probably due to crosswinds. The boat capsized and I was stuck to the ceiling for what appeared to be a century. Astounded but remaining alert, I felt the boat self-straightening. This has happened before, but experience does nothing to alleviate the fear that takes you over in the solitude. I know it may happen again now or later but, if I could, I should like to erase such moments from my memory.”
Hmm, I guess not. To make matters worse, Anne spent about 4 days going in circles, and on Saturday turned on her GPS to discover that she had LOST 50 miles, thanks to a Gulf Stream eddy which took her backwards. Did I mention ocean rowing requires maniacal persistence? To be a lone rower on a big ocean is to be perhaps the greatest underdog in extreme sport. So TWC is starting to root heavily for Anne, who has dealt with all the frustrations so far with stoicism, grace, and even wit…
Atlantic Anne: Last seen a month ago…Next sighting: ???
Wetass Sport #253–Wife Carrying: Here’s one they should definitely add to the Olympics (my vote: bump synchronized swimming). The basics: race 830 feet, through a pool and over hurdles, carrying your wife. First prize (and this really drives up the appeal)–the wife’s weight…in beer (plus a sauna to help with the resulting hangover). Credit for coming up with this creative competition goes to the idle Finns who live in the little hamlet of Sonkajarvi, just shy of the Arctic Circle (too much darkness, too much snow, too much chilled vodka, too little to do). The origins of the race lie in the 19th century local tradition of raiding neighboring villages and carrying women off. And on Saturday the seventh annual world championships was staged. Eighteen couples competed in front of 7,000 spectators. And the contest was won by an Estonian couple, Madis Uusorg and Inga Klauso, in a blazing time of just over a minute. Their secret weapon: the “Estonian carry,” in which Inga clamped her thighs tightly to either side of Madis’ face and hung upside down on his back. Hmm, I wonder how they came up with that one…
The British Contingent: “Dammit, Edina, you’re supposed to wait until after the competition to fill up on beer. And look! Georgina is carrying her bleeding purse…”
(Photo: Lehtikuva/Reuters)
TWC Quick Hits…:
Naked PETA Protesters Join Running Of The Bulls In Pamplona: Ploy partially successful as some bulls stop to compare rings in nose with rings in, uh,…(PS: Go find your own damn pictures; this is a family blog)
100 Year-Old Man Sprints–Sort Of–100 Meters: South African Phillip Rabinowitz puts up time of 28.7 seconds, and breaks world record for age group, only to be told timer wasn’t working properly. Manages to avoid stroking out in frustration, and vows to try again in October, after he catches his breath…
Man Gives Wife Driving Lesson; Wife Drives SUV Into Pool: “Goddammit, I said ‘Go left’!”
Pool Ornament: “Uhh, sir. I know you’re mad, but don’t you think we should go pull your wife out of the car about now…?”
(Photo: Richard Ambo/The Honolulu Advertiser)
Amin Brakk BASE Jump–The Russians Are On The Wall: The Russkie expedition to climb–and then jump off (yes, JUMP; they’re Russians)–the Amin Brakk tower in Pakistan is finally fixing rope and working their way up the massive rock wall. And the going ain’t easy. Right now BASE jumping is the farthest thing from the climbing team’s thoughts, as they suck it up on the difficult, dangerous climb, and dodge the frequent avalanches of rock and snow that come pouring down from the heights when the sun warms the face every day. Here’s a report from the weekend:
Yesterday a small avalanche covered the working three-man team: Lastochkin, Kovalev and Dorfman. All of them are safe and sound, but it scared them stiff! Avalanches collapse from the roof. [They] seem to jump out in the air, and this wave of snow flies, actually not touching the wall, directly on you. [F]rom below it is difficult to estimate [whether] it [fall] right away on you or pass by. And it happens in this way a few times a day. We even named these small avalanches – “White dragon”.
“White Dragon,” huh? Sounds like these guys might have hit some opium dens before they cleared Islamabad…
“Oh man, this thing is so hairy. I wonder if I remembered to pack my hookah…”
TWC Off To Brazil–Heh-Heh: And since I won’t have an Intel surboard with me (see below), I’ll be offline until Tuesday July 6. Last time I took off I left you with “Pig Brother”, a web cam watching a family of German boars. It was surprisingly popular with a few hopeless readers. So here’s a new one: “Who Wants To Be An Osprey?” Click here to check in on a nest of ospreys who live under the Frederick Douglas bridge in Washington, DC. Watch them sleep, watch them fly around, watch them eat regurgitated food (maybe that’s more of a fear Factor thing)…
“Tim said he’d give us an extra $100 if we tear up a rat live on camera…”
TWC Quick Hits…:
Two Inmates With Artifical Limbs Escape From Nashville Jail: Embarrassed warden laughingstock of correctional world; institutes new policy of removing all prisoner prosthetics and storing them in broom closet…
U.S. Motorcyclist Sets “Iron-Butt” Record: Rides from northern tip of Alaska to southern tip of Florida in 100 hours; wears out one set of tires, 3 sets of underwear…
Intel Develops E-mail/WiFI Enabled Surfboard With Built-In Touchpad Computer: Candidate for Grand Prize in “How To Ruin A Great Sport” contest…
“I’m tubin’ and typin’ with my toes…Awww, sh*t, not more Viagra spam!”
(Photo: AFP)
The Perils Of Ellen–Transat Tipover (Almost): Ellen MacArthur always knew racing a trimaran solo would be just about the hairiest, scariest sailing she had ever done. And she’s right. In the past 24 hours Ellen has racked up a 510 mile run at an average speed of more than 20 knots (just short of the 540 mile solo record held by Laurent Bourgnon), and also came within an ace of flipping her boat in a 40-knot squall. “We were hit very very hard by one wave, sent us to 35 to 45 degrees or more….absolutely smacked, whole boat was physically thrown, including me and everything inside,” an exhausted Ellen said this morning. You have to wonder how long she can sail on the edge like this without a real disaster. The next wave might just be that much bigger or faster, and she’ll be upside down mid-Atlantic. But sailing on the edge is the only way she has a shot at the record. She’s sailed a longer route than Bourgnon, who had a great first two days and as a result she’s more than 20 hours behind on a short course. The only good news is the cold front she’s been racing ahead of will pass overhead this morning and the wind will shift to the northwest, allowing her to sail a direct course to the finish. So she could start catching up. But there’s not a lot of runway, and she’s been pushed pretty far south. I’d say short of a miracle this record bid is cooked…
“Holy Moly, this thing is a monster. I’ve got to figure out how to sail fast AND get some sleep before I start hallucinating…”
Ellen MacArthur Update–Audio From The Atlantic: Click here, to listen to an interview with Ellen as she discusses conditions onboard, her weather tactics, and the risks and stresses of sailing a trimaran flat-out at 25 knots…
The Earthist Chronicles 