Have A Wetass Weekend…

Shark Attack!!: What’s it like to be a shark and eat scuba divers? Click here to find out. Warning: addictive personalities–like anyone who found Pig-Cam even remotely interesting–might want to take a pass…

TWC Quick Hits…:

One-Legged Swimmer Gunning For Olympics: Competes in 800-meter freestyle, puts up very little wake…

800-Foot Container Ship Arrives in Port With 47-foot Whale Carcass on Bow Bulb: Crew had been puzzled by speed loss and recurrent dreams of sushi…

British Kite Surfer Hit By Gust, Blown Through Air Into Fish and Chips Shop: Staff at Franco’s Fish Bar insists they can’t find the body…



“Err, yessir, our fish and chips are always extra crunchy…”

Assault on Everest’s North Face–Going Up: TWC’s favorite climbers–the Russians, who are always trying spectacular new stunts–are at it on Everest’s North Face. The North Face is a ridiculously dangerous, forbidding wall of rock, and the Russians are attempting to climb right up the middle of it. Getting up Everest via any route still requires some sweat, but going up the center of the North Face versus going up the traditional guided route–with all its fixed ropes and ladders–is like climbing two entirely different mountains. And one of them is just about the meanest bastard on earth. So of all the expeditions crawling around Everest right now, this is the one to watch.

Why? Well, here’s what the Russians are looking at, according to Eugeny Vinogradsky, one of the climbing team: “We need to set Camp 1 about 6900 meters, but there’s absolutely no place for it. Another problem – strong winds and dust snow avalanches. And the stones are falling when the sun shines in the midday. There’s also the big snow field just above our route, and it would become the avalanche source if snow falls.” Alrighty, then. Perhaps this explains why the expedition’s high altitude porters got to the bottom of the wall, said the Russians were crazy, and deserted, leaving the climbing sherpas to shoulder the loads.

Still, the Russians are plugging away, sending one team after another up the wall in sun, rain or blizzard to fix anchors and rope, before they come back down to rest. They’ve just managed to get a tent onto the face at 7,000 meters, to make Camp I, and one team has got some rope up as high as 7300 meters. The temperatures are about -15 centigrade. If these guys actually make it, it will be one of the greatest Everest climbs ever…



Expedition Planning: “C’mon Viktor, we can barely climb the bugger ourselves. There’s no way we can get all five of these vodka barrels to the top. We’ll just have to make do with three…”

Annals of Achievement–RocketMan: American stuntman Eric Scott set a new world record this week, by propelling himself to an altitude of 152 feet with a jetpack. He was in the air for just 26 seconds but managed to throw in a few pirouettes before landing without even a minor bruise. Scott has more than 500 rocket flights to his credit and got his start flying over the stage during the Michael Jackson tour in 1992 (hmm, that gig is definitely over for 5-10 years). Scott’s next flight will take place this July, over the Brazilian jungle. Why? Who knows? Softer landing, maybe….



Nice Day Job: “I’m outdoors, I get spectacular views, and chicks really dig this suit…”

(Photo: Reuters)

TWC Video of the Week…: TWC Assistant Editor (Humor/Tee Times) Dave Ross offers the following parable in the consequences of breaching etiquette in the sport of bicylce racing. Click here to check it out…

Arctic Expedition Update–Santa Claus Wins: It’s been quite a while since TWC checked in on Wave Vidmar and Ben Saunders, who have been slogging their way North and suffering with every step. Wave wanted to be the first American to get to the Pole solo and unsupported. But he ain’t gonna make it. The Russkies responsible for running the way station on top of the world where Arctic adventurers end up, as well as the transport back from it, have decided to close the base–called Borneo–next week. Wave’s nowhere near the Pole (in part because those same Russkies wasted a lot of time getting Wave and the other adventurers to the jumpoff point by trying to screw more money out of them), so if he kept going he’d have no way to get home. Plus, the guy has been massively dinged up with a variety of injuries which include a damaged ankle (maybe broken) and a pair of eyes that are mostly swollen shut (possibly from infection caused by frostbite). Doesn’t Arctic adventuring sound fun.

Ben Saunders, who aimed to go solo and unsupported all the way across the Arctic Ocean via the North Pole, is continuing on. But thanks to his slow progress he has decided to accept resupply from the air. So he’s still adventuring, but won’t hit his target either. Add this to the fact that Dominick Arduin has disappeared and is presumed dead, and Frederic Chamard-Boudet fell into an open lead and had to be airlifted out with severe frostbite, and you have a petty grim picture. The Arctic is a real bitch. Only the toughest of the tough need apply….



Wave’s Pug: “I fought the Arctic and the Arctic won…”

(Photo Via Explorer’s Web)

JV Update–Neptune Wins: Okay, on to Olivier De Kersauson, who had just rounded Cape Horn when we last looked in on him, and….he’s not doing any better than Wave and Ben. De Kersauson and his big trimaran Geronimo just crossed the Equator and are on the final leg home. But they are more than a day behind JV record holder Orange 2002 having suffered one weather delay after another, and more than three days behind new world record holder Steve Fossett. Sorry, Olivier, no new records for you….again. De Kersauson must feel cursed. He’s got the boat, he’s got the crew, he’s got the experience. He just can’t get a break. See you next year, Mon Admiral….



“F*ck it, Olivier. Maybe we should just head for Bermuda and drink Dark and Stormy’s until we can’t see straight…”

World Record Surf Ride Update–Let’s Go To The Video: I knew it had to be out there somewhere, and it is. Click here to watch Pete Cabrinha’s ride on a 70-foot monster wave at Jaws. You’ll also find clips of the other big wave contenders. Make sure you turn up the volume and put on your jams, because you’re going to get salt water splashed all over your cubicle. It’s incredible stuff, and just as you click on it, bow your head three times and say: “God, I love the internet”…



Contender Greg Long Didn’t Win, But Got The Tube Ride of His Life At Cortes Bank

(Photo: Robert Brown)

I’m Back, I’m Rested, And There’s a Whole Lotta Wetassing Going On…: Anything worth watching on the Pig-Cam? Heh-heh.