Annals of Oops–Got Fuel?: Australian adventure pilot Jon Johanson has flown around the world in two directions, and over the North Pole. This week, he bagged the South Pole as well, flying from new Zealand and becoming the first solo pilot to fly over the South Pole in a fixed wing, single-engine aircraft….with a red stripe, and an even registration number (well, not the last two, but records are getting more narrowly defined every day). All was going well except for one minor problem: headwinds slowed him up, so he didn’t have enough fuel to fly back to New Zealand or Argentina. Instead, Johanson landed at the US/New Zealand operated McMurdo Base, hoping to cadge some fuel to get home. The answer: no fuel giveaway this week…or any other week. He only needs about 90 gallons, but the eggheads at the base are playing hardball because they don’t want any other poorly organized adventurers dropping in without a plan. “He appears to have gone in there without a search and rescue plan and without a contingency plan if things go wrong, and he’s expecting the New Zealand and United States Governments to pick up and be his contingency,” sniffed one of the base managers. Instead the base has offered to fly Johanson out and ship his plane later (at his expense). That’s cold (pun intended) but I’m with McMurdo on this one. Maybe Johanson can ask for a rubber band……..



Stranded at McMurdo: And it’s a very long, very cold swim…..

Annals of Ouch–Ozzy Wipes Out: Let’s see….take an incoherent, drug-addled, over-the-hill rocker who has a recently announced 42-pill-a-day habit, stick him on an All Terrain Vehicle (ATV), and cut him loose without adult supervision…What do you get? Ozzy Osbourne with six broken ribs, a broken collarbone and a fractured neck. The former Black Sabbath singer survived (“this is not a problem,” his doctor declared…delusional or super-cool medico?), and is expected to recover whatever motor skills he still had going at the time of the accident. ATVs are the land-based analog of the noxious and evil jet-ski. So thanks, Ozzy, for making them look like a really bad way to tear up the yard. I wonder if “The Osbournes” cameras were rolling…..



Ozzy Comments: “Sprkk ukug jh kqg l uoouh!”

“Wrong Way” VDH Update–Into the Pacific!: VDH rounded the Horn in style, with the wind behind him. Now he’s rocketing along thanks to a storm system to his north. Most unusual conditions, but it’s his 10th rounding and fourth stab at this record, so maybe he deserves a little luck.

Here’s his report:

“Well we’ve made it. We’re now in the Pacific Ocean. I rounded the Horn this morning at 12 minutes past midnight CET. It took me 32 days, 11 hours and 50 minutes to get down there, which already sets a little record, as I made it in faster time than on my previous attempts.

As I went around it, I was 5 days, 21 hours and 25 mins ahead of the time set by Philippe Monnet. Henceforth, in order to measure my lead, I shall be establishing it in degrees of longitude, as now the aim is to get as far west as possible.

For the moment, I’m zooming along and in the right direction. Since yesterday, I’ve had a steady 35-40 knot wind, but as I am on a beam reach, I’ve lowered the mainsail and am just using the genoese. I even rolled that up a bit before nightfall, as with the seas getting rougher and rougher, we’re starting to slide along on huge surfing waves at up to 30 knots. As a precautionary measure, I therefore brought in a little sail to limit this surfing.

These incredible conditions should last for another 15 hours or so, which is really great!”



Bye-Bye Atlantic: “Shit, now I just have to bash my way into the wind and seas for the next 10,000 miles….”

“Wrong Way” VDH Update–Approaching Cape Stiff and Hoping To, Errr, Get Lucky: Jean Luc Van Den Heede is about to pass a major milestone in his backwards, non-stop, lap of the planet: Cape Horn (Cape Stiff is what the old salts in the clipper days used to call it, since the winds are usually blowing so, umm, hard). He’s got a five day lead on current record holder Philippe Monnet (see chart below), and may even get a free pass in to the Pacific Ocean, courtesy of a highly unusual easterly wind forecast for tomorrow. (For a gripping tale that captures the difficulty and stratospheric stress of trying to round Cape Horn from east to west when the prevailing westerlies are howling, read Jack London’s short story “Make Westing;” it’s little known, but one of his best). So far, however, VDH couldn’t have written a better script for his record attempt. And here’s what he has to say as the big moment approaches:

“I’ve gone by the Falklands, and tomorrow I shouldn’t be far from the Lemaire Straits, as they are only 185 miles away. I was going along rather nicely upwind in a WSW wind, and then, this morning it came around to the South, which wasn’t very helpful. Then I was becalmed, which was even worse. I had taken in two reefs on the solent in a 35-knot wind, and now I’ve raised everything again, but I’ve only got 4 knots of wind left. If I’m going to make the Lemaire Straits tomorrow, the wind is going to have to pick up again.

It’s amazing how what I feel is so affected by the wind. Even if I have 5 and a half days’ lead over Philippe, I still want Adrien to sail along well, and above all, I don’t want to miss the short period of easterly wind, which should allow me to round the Horn downwind. There’s only a 2% chance of picking up an Easterly in this area, and it would be quite something if I get there at exactly the right moment. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.”



Approaching the End of a Perfect Atlantic Run (VDH in Red; Monnet in Black)

Annals of Achievement–New American Record For Sitting Around In Space: In space, they can’t hear you scream…of boredom. American astronaut Michael Foale, currently camped out in the International Space Station, has now spent more than 231 days of his life in the black void. It took Foale six missions to earn this distinction, and the old record holder, astronaut Carl Walz, was kind enough to call. Foale’s magnaninous reply (astronauts are not known for a lack of ego): “Carl, that’s awfully big of you to come along and grovel like this on radio.” Okay, he was joking and he has nothing on the Russians when it comes to hanging around in crappy space vehicles contemplating the cosmos, because the Russian–and world–record is 748 days. Don’t think Foale is crazy enough to go for that one. He and crew-mate Alexander Kaleri are due back on terra firma next April…..



“I love zero gravity….Know what I mean, Alexi?”

“Get your hand off my ass, Comrade.”

(Photo: Space.Com)

Annals of Inanity–It Floats…But For How Long?: Is there anywhere Americans won’t take their Recreational Vehicles? Meet the Terra Wind, an amphibious motor home. Questions. First and foremost: Why, why why? Second: Does the cable connection still work? Third: What happens when it gets hit by a motorboat wake? And last but not least: What sort of moron would pay $1.2 million for this highway-hogging Titanic?



“This sure beats the ferry…..Hey, honey, is that microwave popcorn ready yet?”

(Source: Terra Wind)

Annals of Achievement–Inside Finian Maynard’s Head: Last week windsurfer Finian Maynard set a new windsurfing speed record of 46.24 knots. That’s roughly the highway speed limit and Maynard was oh so close to breaking the outright speed sailing record set by Yellow Pages Endeavour in 1993. What was it like out there in 30-40 knots of wind on the canal known as the French Trench? Here’s Finian’s description:

“The very short boards plane early so I popped up out of the water and got situated for the run. What happened next I will never forget. As soon as I sheeted in, there was an enormous rush through my whole body. I must have accelerated to 44 knots in about 3-4 seconds and I entered the run with speed. Lots of speed. Right out of bed and straight into this. Crazy. I got a big 40 knot puff in the middle and another towards the end. It felt as though I was still accelerating when I crossed the finish and I almost went straight into the bank at the end. I looked back and deciphered ’45.8kts’ from the scoreboard. Wow, the windsurfing record on my first run. I ran and almost fell over twice trying to get to the van as quickly as possible. I got back to the start (takes roughly 11-15 min.) and got to see Erik´s crash. He was alright but was wobbly from hitting his head. I felt bad because this was for sure his best looking run of the MOS and maybe a UK record. The rest of his day was tough mentally so he focused his energy towards me and gave me some valuable advice.

My next two runs (44.96,43.90) were not windy as the wind had backed off just a touch. At about 10am, the wind started to look promissing again. I missed the gust on run 4 and posted a 44.12. It was run 5 that I will never forget. I timed the wind right this time as there are little cycles that come through that are maybe 3-5 knots more. I entered the start with massive speed and was holding on tight. It felt like I wasn’t touching the water at all and Thierry´s caddy told me afterwards that the run was ’hot’ meaning fast I guess. About 125 meters from the finish I unexpectedly spun out, completely letting go the fin. I managed to pull it back in, re-accelerate and went through the finsh. I looked back in horror to see ’44.57 knots’. My God. That was maybe Yellow Pages right there. Maybe I reached ’super-cavitation’?.

With re-newed energy, it was straight back to the start. These runs take a lot of energy. The forces working against you one can feel through every part of the body. You can’t hide from the force of the wind.

Run 6 was a 45.01. I missed the cycle again. It is not easy at all to see what is happening on the course from the starting end. Unlike the tropics, the gusts are invisable with the brownish haze on top of the Canal water. So, Pascal took it upon himself when I was back to the start to kick us into action. He shouted that David had just done a 45 and the wind was good on the course.

I immediately reacted before the others and went for it. To be honest, this run did not feel the fastest but it was the smoothest from start to finish. The wind was consistent in it’s force down the entire course. I got a little wind shadow at the finish but I was ecstatic to break 46kts and post a 46.24. Now this was getting serious. I was in the zone and was ready to break the outright record on my next run. Going up in the van, Sandra fed me bananas and water to stop the slight cramping I was experiencing.

The next run will be stuck in my mind for a while. I took off and was so powered on my 5.5 and big board (the combination of all the previous runs). All the way down the course, I was thinking of nothing but keeping it all together. This one was a fast one and I knew it. Faster than the previous run. About 100m from the finish, I got what I can only describe as a ’speed wobble’. My board lifted, rounded up into the wind slightly and I was forced to sheet out. At this moment my board whipped back around and somehow didn’t spin-out getting back on track for the finish. I almost hit the end again and I looked back to see ’45.6’.

That one was it if you consider we are talking less than half a second difference to the record. I then watched David come down the course with committment and super speed in great conditions. It was a clean run and he posted a 45.5 to break the French record. He was very happy and sailed very well. Hats off to him.

After that, I finally switched to my medium 34 board/medium 22 fin but it was too late. The rain came in and it came hard. I did one run right in the middle of the white squall and posted a 44.34 with my face underneath my arm in order to see anything. This board felt great and I was already regretting not taking her in the record setting moments from just before. Erik had told me to switch as soon as I plateau with the times but this was already afterwards. Next time.

The wind never came back. Although being over the moon about what had already been accomplished, I was disappointed in the two runs that were not clean that could definitely have been better than the fastest one of the day.

Maybe it is a lesson that YP will not be broken so easily.”

Sounds like some serious fun…….



“Hmmmm, I wonder how to stop this thing……”

“Wrong Way” VDH Update–Into the Roaring Forties: VDH has now crossed 40 degrees South, on his way to Cape Horn:

“I’m down in the forties now. As if by chance, I saw my first albatross yesterday. Seeing these birds fly is always magical. I can still remember the first I saw on Let’s Go during my first circumnavigation in 86. I watched it for quite a while. Even today, I still don’t understand how they manage to fight against the wind without flapping their wings… “

Forty degrees South marks the beginning of the Roaring Forties, the description the old clipper ship sailors gave to this stormy region of the globe. The Forties will not truly Roar at their worst until VDH rounds Cape Horn and exposes himself and Adrien to the full fury of the Southern Ocean, where there are no land masses to knock down the waves or dissipate the storm systems that parade across the sea with deadly regularity. And VDH is already starting to feel the shadow of the Horn:

“Even if this is my tenth time, I still feel a little apprehension. It’s a place you can’t just dismiss. Beyond that point, you know you’ll be getting into low-pressure areas, with wind and difficulties to deal with. The Andes range protects us a little on this side of the South American continent. Once the Horn has been rounded, the work really begins. On the Vendée Globe, it’s a point of deliverance, but in the opposite direction, it’s really the start of the round the world ‘backwards’ trip. So there has to be a little stress.”

At least VDH has a 5-day lead over the existing record….



The Horn Last Time Around: “Oh Mama, it’s about to begin……”

Virtual Everest–Go To The Summit Without A Pulmonary Embolism: Ever wondered what the view from Everest is like? Click here for a very cool 360 degree panorama of what the world looks like from the top of the world (takes a bit to load, then just left click and drag to rotate the image). The image was created by Roderick Mackenzie in 1989. Almost as interesting is the brief interview with McKenzie that accompanies the panorama:

“Why did I climb Everest?

I have a theory that people climb for the smell of it. Air at very high altitude smells completely different to lower altitudes. People become addicted to this smell and need more and more to get less and less of it. This is what makes them get higher.

What did I think of on the summit?

When I reached the south summit I was suffering from a lack of Spanish Olives. I was most preoccupied with thoughts of the tin of olives sitting in my tent at base camp. The preoccupation was the result of a very intense dream about olives which was interrupted by the alarm summoning me to our summit attempt. When I reached the south summit the view to the main summit interested me from a mountaineering point of view and all dreamings of olives were banished from my head.

On the summit I felt a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. Our only comments to each other after initial congratulations were about the fact that the summit is precisely half way. It seemed to me that the curvature of the earth was apparent, and I spent some time trying to think of a means to test if this was a real observation or an illusion. In the end I decided it was an illusion, but it was a strong illusion. Overall my main feeling was of surprise.”

Uhh, nice take, dude. Sorry about the olives…..

Annals of Achievement–So Close, But No Cigar…Yet: The 10 surfer boys shooting for the sailing speed record over at the French Trench in Stes. Maries de la Mer in the South of France put up some huge numbers yesterday–and Irishman Finian Maynard nailed a new windsurfing speed record of 46.24 knots (the French record and the Dutch record were also broken). Winds started the day at 35-40 knots and built until it was honking a full 40-42 knots down the flat water course. The only disappointment was that Maynard missed the outright sail speed record–46.54 knots, set by “Yellow Pages Endeavour” in 1993–by just 3/10ths of a knot. The windsurfers are just a few wind gusts away from stealing this title back from the sailors. Stay tuned….



Flying Finian: “Man, that Guinness better be waiting for me when I get in….”