Annals Of Aspiration–15 Days Underwater?: An Englishman (why are these guys so often English?) is planning to try and smash the world record for living underwater, which currently stands at 8 days. Mark Webber thinks he can take sub aqua existence for up to 15 days and has had a special tank delivered to a warehouse near his home. The tank has a bed in it and Webber plans to sleep at regular intervals, while wearing a full face mask that provides him with oxygen. What about boredom? Oh, Webber plans to spend his time playing tic-tac-toe on the glass tank wall with visitors, and may even invite another diver or two into the tank for some underwater chess. Good thinking, Dude, but aren’t you forgetting some, err, more basic practical issues? Like eating and drinking? And, umm, peeing and ummm….? Do pet stores even have filters that big? Just asking….



“Thanks for inviting us to play hockey, Mark. But why am I getting this nasty rash all over my body?