Killer Kayaking In Kern (California): For kayakers, it is an annual whitewater “wazoo,” 165 miles northeast of Los Angeles. To a local sheriff, according to the LA Times, it is “a series of drownings just waiting to happen.” What the hell are they talking about? The annual Kern River Festival, where hundreds of kayakers will converge for three days, starting April 16, to slalom, freestyle and frolic in the Kern River’s big water and waterfalls. They’ll do their best to stay alive. But they’ll also be partying their asses off….



“Funny. This worked a lot better when I practiced it in my swimming pool….”