Annals Of Achievement–Underwater Ubermensch: Scuba diver Jerry Hall (no, not Mick’s former wife; now that would be a story), has just set a new world record for staying underwater, breaking his old record of 71 hours. How long has he been swilling around on the bottom of Tennessee’s Watauga Lake, right off the Fish Springs Marina pier? Just over 95 hours. That’s just shy of four days for all you math geniuses, and Hall plans to keep going until he starts to feel pain or his feet shrivel off. So, what are the logistics of hanging around underwater for days on end? Here’s a summary from Jeff Dudas, editor of Underwater Times:

“He is averaging about four hours of sleep, and is eating apples, cheese cubes, carrots, tomato soup and the occasional Snickers bar.

Hall is spending his time underwater working out, writing notes to his dive team, playing checkers with his 11-year-old son, Seth, also a certified diver, and exchanging love letters, via tablets transported by dive team members, with his wife, Vicky.

Hall is using a powerful underwater speaker designed by Lubell Laboratories to listen to local media sponsor, Electric 94.9 radio and has even been seen dancing underwater.

At this point in his 2002 dive, Hall was in the final stretches and was experiencing agonizing pain in his hands and feet. The rigors of being underwater for 70 hours had taken its toll. Realizing this was an obstacle to over come with a new dive attempt, after thorough research, the dive team discovered a product manufactured in their own backyard.

Sorbolene, an intensive moisturizer manufactured by Del-Ray Dermatologicals in Johnson City, TN is being used to coat his hands and feet. At the halfway point to nearly 95 hours, Hall is experiencing absolutely no pain in his hands or feet. During his last sock change, the dive team reported that Hall’s feet are in perfect condition, with only slight shriveling to the bottom.”

“Sorbolene”, eh? Sounds like good sh*t. So let’s sit back and wait for the guy to surface. His dive crew is joking that the only way to get him out now is to drain the lake…



“Dr. Enuf?! You think I need a laxative in a wet suit?! I thought you were sending down Pabst beer…!”

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