BREAKING NEWS–Hail King Finian!: We interrupt your normal weekend wetassing to bring you the following news flash: Windsurfer Finian Maynard is now the fastest sailor on the planet (pending ratification from the World Sailing Speed Record Council. Yesterday, in a honkin’ Mistral that was blowing between 35 and 45 knots, Maynard ripped off a windsurfing run that averaged 46.82 knots, stealing the outright record back from Yellow Pages Endeavor, which put up a speed of 46.52 knots at Sandy Point in 1993. So score a huge victory for the windsurfers, and for the French Trench over Sandy Point. But .3 knots is not a revolution. The next major breakthrough in this sport of speed sailing is the Big Five Oh…



Finian’s Fastest: Want to know the secret of my speed? Surfin’ barefoot…”