Annals Of Ingratitude–Die, Dolphin!: Remember the dolphin pod that saved a group of New Zealand swimmers from a Great White shark (scroll down to last Tuesday’s posts)? Well, it looks as if no good deed goes unpunished. Two of the dolphins in the pod, may have been killed by fishermen, who hacked their tails off. There’s no way of knowing for sure whether the dead dolphins were part of the shark rescue effort, because there are hundreds of dolphins in the area. But according to local fisheries managers, one thing is sure: they were caught in illegal nets by fish poachers and mutilated.

In related news, more than 100 whales and dolphins died on a southern Australian island near Tasmania, after they swam ashore and stranded themselves. Scientists don’t know what motivated the mammals to commit suicide, but perhaps they were protesting the ill treatment of their heroic New Zealand relatives. It’s obviously tough being a dolphin Down Under these days, which means that drastic measures are called for. And here at the Wetass Chronicles, that means calling for the one, the only…PETA Pammy, the most effective animal abuse icon since St. Francis (hey, I haven’t posted this picture in more than a year)…



Calling Out The Big Guns: “I don’t know, Tim. Yes, the dolphins need me. But Fido will be heartbroken, and I haven’t squeezed into that Baywatch swimsuit in years…”