You are Cuban, laboring under the iron boot of El Jefe. You want freedom in the United States. But you don’t have a boat. What do you do? You convert a car, of course. In 2003 it was a Dodge truck. Yesterday it was a blue taxi, in which 13 Wetasses from the Havana Wetass Local risked their lives crossing the Florida Straits. You can read about it here. And you can watch a news report with some cool footage here. The Coast Guard intercepted the intrepid boat/taxi before it reached Florida, so naturally the U.S. wants to deport all the occupants back to Cuba. It’s called the “dryfoot” (you step ashore in the U.S. and you get asylum) — “wetfoot” (you get nabbed at sea, you’re sh*t out of luck) distinction. But what about the “wetass” distinction? Anyone in this class should be given automatic citizenship. I mean, don’t we need people ingenious enough to turn cars into boats?
Guillermo Nelson: “On the road, I mean sea, again…”
“Madre de dios. These gringos have no idea how to drive…”
“Okay, you fascist pigs! If it’s racing you want, let’s race for pink slips…!”
“But officer, I couldn’t have been doing more than 12…”
The Earthist Chronicles 