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Enough high speed sailing. It’s time for some kickass, crazy skiing. And I don’t know who they are, but Chris and Matt Collins are apparently just the guys to give it to us. Check out this Atom films production of the duo tearing it up and jumping off some rather large cliffs. Their Mama must have had a stressful time with these boys…



“I sure hope they get this in one take…”

Here’s a real puzzler. You’re on your way to a relaxing winter vacation, with a car full of beer and provisions. Suddenly, as you are winding along a mountain road, an avalanche buries your car. You open your window and try to dig your way out, but you have nowhere to put the snow and it starts to fill your car. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Well, if you are a sharp Slovakian named Richard Kral, you take note of the fact that you have 60 half liters of beer. You drink a little, scoop a little snow from above your window, and pack it below your window. Then…you pee on it. It melts. You drink a little more beer, pack a little more snow, and pee again. And you keep repeating the cycle until you have packed and melted enough snow to burrow your way out. “It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I’m glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there,” said Kral, after he was found drunk and staggering on a mountain path four days after the avalanche hit.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the snow outside his car door looked like by the time he escaped. But I suspect there was a bit of serendipity involved. Why? My guess is that he was stuck in his car and just started drinking the beer, because why wouldn’t you? And when he started peeing out his window…EUREKA!



After his escape, Kral still had a surplus, so…

Unless his mast falls down or his boat sinks, it looks certain that Vincent Riou will be the first across the Vendee Globe finish line tonight. He’s got a lead of 97.4 miles over Jean Le Cam on Bonduelle with just 162.7 miles to go. Pretty hard to screw that up. Latest report here; latest positions here. Mike Golding is another 90-plus miles back, and resigning himself to a hard-fought third. Golding wanted a win in this race in the worst way and is torturing himself with “what ifs” before he even hits the docks. Here’s some of what he said during his last radio interview:

“It’s a shame, I would have liked to have won this race in particular and we have worked very hard towards that, but it’s quite clear that whatever you do, no matter how prepared you are there is still an element of it which is not fully in your control. It is a long race and lots of things can happen, and the good thing for me it is that I have competed in the Vendee twice and had major problems on one and very few on the other, but both times I have been successful in completing the course and there are lots of less fortunate people than myself, and again this race has been no different in having a very high rate of attrition…My regrets are obviously all linked to the halyard saga, and that is just a twofold regret and one is whether we made the right choice of what to carry as a spare, and that is a matter for us to discuss when we hit the shore, but secondly the fact that I did find a resolution that is working and that I am comfortable and confident with and so there is a slight annoyance in my mind that if only I’d elected to make this change on the first occasion then I wouldn’t have had to go through two of the halyard failures, one of them which was very expensive in terms of miles I had to give, so that is the only regret and that is remarkable that that is the only regret, because this is a long, long race, and yet I have had lots of other things happen to regret and yet I don’t regret them, so I feel very lucky to be in the situation where my regrets are so few, and I can say with honesty that I have been honest and true to myself and that I have sailed the best race that I can.”

Golding also spoke generously about his competition:

“I think that both the other guys (PRB and Bonduelle) have sailed a fabulous race. PRB I think I noticed very quickly how sharp he is tactically and I think that my first recognition of that was actually at Finisterre on the way out, when he took a little hitch down to Finisterre and got a little boost off it, and I remember thinking then he was really on the pace, and prepared to do whatever it takes. Jean: Jean has been extremely talented, extremely reliable and just consistently fast. I think that they have both done a fabulous job and I am honoured to be here amongst the two of them.”

It’s been quite a race…



Gloomy Golding: “Sigh. Stupid halyards…”

Still have cravings? Here, have another bon-bon. We gave you the Musto Performance skiff, a J-105, and the Melges 32. And now it’s time to go back to a new video of an old favorite: the PS8. (Read a Sailing Anarchy review here). We’ve featured this baby before. But Sportzboats USA has a nice new clip up. Watch it, and drool. If this keeps up, we’re going to have to start handing out Wetass bibs. Note to self: that’s not a bad idea, smurfy (uh-oh, I’ve been reading too many dispatches from Maud (see below))…



“Heh-heh. Can’t wait to see the faces on the big boys up ahead when we fly by them…”

She’s pushed out to a lead of 3 days and 10 hours (almost 700 miles), with just 1,714 miles left. Normally, that would be Game Over, barring a major breakdown. But the North Atlantic weather gods are not ready to let Ellen rest easy yet. They’ve thrown up one of the strangest weather patterns ever seen, and the prime feature is a massive, light wind, high pressure system that will be sitting directly between Ellen and the finish. See latest report here, and latest weather forecast here. Here’s what Ellen has to say about it all:

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with the high… I’m sitting here and every single report that’s coming in its moving – the four different models this morning, all say different things. The only thing I hope really doesn’t happen is that we end up finishing with 35 knots upwind and, to be honest, I think that’s the most likely scenario. I’m not trying to be negative, it’s going to be really, really bad at the end if that’s what happened. It will be ‘boat-breaking’ scenario…

My hands are so hard and so tight and so rotten…they look quite disgusting! There is white rot underneath all my fingernails, I can chew bits of the skin off without feeling a thing, it’s that hard and that knackered. Not very beautiful…”

No, it’s not. But skin is very nutricious…



Snack, Anyone?: If this is what they looked like at Cape Horn, I’m not sure we want to see an update…

I’m beginning to worry about Mme. Fontenoy, all by her lonesome out there in the Pacific. She’s got months and months, and miles and miles, of rowing to go before she makes landfall in Tahiti. And she’s already created an entire fantasy world. Check out this recent report. I admit the rough translation only makes it sound more bizarre, but still:

“It’s about 11 smurf in the morning when it happened. I was smurfy rowing, my ipod in the smurf pocket; and then, a smurfy wave, 3 times bigger than a smurf bush arrived on OCÉOR’s portside. My ipod was running away but nevertheless, the smurf wave catched him, and in a last cry he couldn’t even let Johann Pachelbel finish my favourite canons.

The ocean, feeling that I was smurf angry, remained quiet.

My little Ipod in my smurf hands, trying to dry it, turning it in all ways but nothing to do.

I organised a little altar, with a small candle (looking like a duck) offered by Jean Jacques D.

Pétula manage all this really well.”

Are the Smurfs still big in France? Thank god Petula is still there. Wait, who the hell is Petula…?



Mad Maud: “I’d better finish this quickly. It’s almost Petula’s birthday. Hmm, I wonder if I should start rowing again tomorrow…”

Well, it looks as if Vincent Riou on PRB is surviving (so far) the massive risk he took by heading north and separating from his pursuers, Jean Le Cam and Mike Golding. He’s sailing directly toward the finish, which is now less than 400 miles away, and holding a lead of just over 20 miles on Le Cam. Golding has fallen back to 77 miles, and doesn’t look like a threat. See daily report here; and latest positions here. Riou is in an older boat (it won the last Vendee) so you know he’s sailing flat out, on the edge of any number of disasters. Le Cam is no doubt doing the same, so we’ll see if Golding’s suspicion that someone’s rig might fall over the side before all is said and done comes true. Here’s Riou’s assessment of the end game. He sounds very French, very cool, about the whole thing. But do I detect a slight note of regret that this epic battle is drawing to a close?:

“Conditions are like they were the other night. It’s unstable so you have to take care of the boat, on course, dividing my time between easing and hardening up the sheets. I have little siestas, waking up when the boat stops so I’ve no idea how long they last. It was cold last night but it’s warmed up a bit now.” Asked if things were going to plan, Vincent replied in a dead pan voice “they’re going. I’m making do with what I’ve got. It’s nice to be back in home waters and it will be good to get home. I’ve got wind shifts of 30˚ with 8 to 18 knots last night. Jean is not on course and he’s going slower. I’m reaching at the moment though it can change to close-reaching in the space of just 5 minutes, while he will be headed fortunately. It all depends on the cloud cover. I’m not between Jean and the mark so I haven’t got perfect control. You just have to make as much ground as you can, you mustn’t fall asleep. I have all the cards in my hand but when racing you always know you have to be careful. I’ll be reaching to Les Sables d’Olonne and I think I’ll be behind a small light patch. It doesn’t look like a clean lift for Jean but I reckon he may make a direct course. I’m limiting myself to the bare minimum in terms of sleeping, eating and drinking. It’s been a fine race, I knew this kind of finish was possible but didn’t quite imagine this. I don’t feel stressed but it is tiring. I hope to get in, in around 36 hours time but it may well be 38.”

I can’t get over the fact that less than 2 hours separate these guys after an entire lap of the globe. We’ll update frequently as the boats approach the finish…



PRB Pursued: “Merde, if I have to keep looking over my shoulder all the way to the finish I’m going to need neck surgery…”

Found some more (see next post) surfing, planing, spray-throwing action over at Sailing Anarchy. Perfect for anyone trapped in the frozen wastes of winter…

Clip 1: Check out this J-105 (Quicktime only, again; it’s officially a trend) on the way out to the race course at Key West 2005. That’s about as fast as a J-105 will ever look…

Clip 2: And here’s the spanking new Melges 32 doing what it is designed to do: fly offwind and get everyone soaking wet. Bonus vid: click here for a dockside tour of the Melges 32 (TWC. Always willing to go the extra mile, I mean Google search)…

And prostrate yourselves before this very seductive video (Quicktime only; stop whining, just get it…) of Musto’s performance skiff (which I learned of via an interesting–and wildly eclectic–blog called “The Horse’s Mouth”). This pocket rocket is a solo ride (the first singlehanded trap skiff with gennaker), which makes finding crew easy but boathandling demanding. The video shows you about all you need to know about the “performance” side. But if you want more blather, Sailpower has an in-depth review. Or you can read this ale-soaked regatta diary by double-Olympic medalist in the 49er, Simon Hiscocks. Hiscocks did a lot of swimming, so the thing sounds pretty damn tricky (though it’s hard to know for sure since it appears he was either drunk or hungover most of the time). Looks like a great little package…



Hiscocks Hikes It Out: “Damn, it’s hard to reach for a beer from out here. No wonder I prefer to sail with crew…”

It really doesn’t get any more action packed than this. We’ve got Ellen, Bruno, Jean, Vincent and Mike. All racing their guts out, in three different events. So let’s take a tour, shall we?

First up, Ellen. Little Big Mac has now pushed her lead over Joyon’s seemingly unbeatable solo circumnavigation record to more than 2 days, with just over 2,000 miles to go. She’s hammering north with the help of decent trade winds, scrapping for every extra mile she can get and praying that her boat stays more or less in one piece and doesn’t hit anything. Most sailors with a 2 day lead in this stretch of water would be laughing and drinking Mai Tai’s. But Ellen can’t afford to. Joyon put up some massive runs over the last four days of his record bid, and Ellen is facing a massive high pressure system parked over Ireland, which could eat her up. And even if she avoids that trap, the forecast right now is calling for brutally strong headwinds as she approaches the Channel. In other words, this thing is going down to the wire, and every f*cking minute and mile will count. Unbelievable, really…

Well, if you think Ellen v. Joyon is exciting, we’ve got more. The Vendee Globe leaders (Le Cam, Riou and Golding) are all within 650 miles of the finish, and all within 60 miles of each other. Not only that, the two leaders–Le Cam and Riou–are within a mile of each other (no, that’s not a typo) after 85 days of racing. This is the tightest Vendee ever, and anything could happen. Riou and Le Cam are separated by a lot of water, so one or the other has made the best tactical decision. And Golding, who’s on new leader Le Cam’s line is going faster than anyone. Golding, as usual, is most quotable, and not just because he’s speaking English. Here he is on former leader Riou risking such great separation between himself and the chasing pack: “Having sailed such a beautiful race it does seem rather daft to have dropped such a clanger at the end. Even if he gets away with it, I believe what he’s done is a big mistake. He shouldn’t have let that happen.” Jeez, Mike, I don’t thing Vincent is going to be buying you that steak dinner you keep dreaming about. And here’s Iron Mike on surviving the frustrating conditions of the final sprint: “All sorts of things could happen. In these conditions, I could easily see a rig coming down, frankly. You can’t afford to be fully powered up. If you happen to find yourself at 100 per cent performance, it’s just coincidence. There is a lot of load going through the boat, and you look up at the rig and think, how long is it before something goes ‘ping’? You can’t see these squalls coming, they haven’t got labels on…I’m not coping with it very well. I can’t make the boat display its best qualities, and I can’t display my best qualities if I’m forever changing sail plans. I’ve found it excruciatingly difficult. I’d do anything to get out of these changeable conditions. I’d climb the mast to get out of this. It’s so random I’m not able to do anything with it, except that I am closing down the miles. So to that extent, I suppose you grin and bear it, and hope the miles keep on coming down.” Golding says that he has been taking out his stress on anything breakable (and expendable) and that he has been doing a lot of cursing. Four more days to go…

And last but not least, cruising along at high speed into the Southern Atlantic we find B. Peyron and his jolly crew on Orange II. The big cat will cross The Line ahead of Cheyenne’s time, but behind Geronimo’s 6 say, 11 hour record time (update: Orange II crossed the Quator after 7 days, 3 hours, giving her a lead of 190 miles on Geronimo’s Jules Verne time and 534 miles on Cheyenne’s world record time. Orange II has averaged more than 20 knots since the start). Now Peyron and his cat are hoping that the unbelievably favorable weather forecast for the South Atlantic pans out. Normally, boats heading to the Southern Ocean have to head far west, and contend with light winds to get past the St. Helena high. But right now the forecast has the high well west, with a corridor of northerly winds to the east. If that holds up, Orange II will slingshot into the Roaring Forties with a huge advantage. We’ll see. In the meantime, check go to the video page on Orange II’s website and check out the start (1/24) and the two most recent clips for some good maxi-cat shots…



Ellen Exclaims: “There’s got to be a better way to make coffee…”

Golding Grouses: “Did I mention it was wet, too…”

Peyron Prays: “Please, St. Helena high, oh please, please, please, we’re coming as fast as we can…”