Round Britain And Ireland Record-Fest: The round-the-world record-breaking season is over, so sailors with hot boats are turning their attentions to more local records. Ellen is still waiting in New York for the right weather to launch her 75-foot tri on its first transatlantic record attempt, and, typically, the French have been extra busy with two secret attempts on the nonstop record for circumnavigating all of Britain and Ireland. One, by Solune, a French 60-foot monohull, was successful. Solune ripped counterclockwise around the course in 7 days, 46 minutes and 22 seconds, beating the old record by a whopping 3 days and 15 hours. And the second? Why it was our old friend Olivier De Kersauson, who couldn’t resist the same favorable weather that Solune jumped on. So, after barely a week in the bars of Brest, De Kersauson and his crew jumped back aboard Geronimo and went for it. Unfortunately, they came up a few hours short of Cheyenne’s (Zut! Steve Fossett…again!)record of 4 days and 16 hours. From the Geronimo website:

“They left Brest just 95 hours after returning from their circumnavigation. Everyone knew that the winds would be very favourable in the first two days, but virtually non-existent in the last two, and that the opportunity was more exciting than realistic, but what the hell! The challenge was to reach the Shetlands as fast as possible in order to have time in hand for the slower return leg off Ireland. The challenge of the first half was won, with the trimaran rounding the northern tip of the Shetlands in under two days, but the second half was lost, as they feared, off the west coast of Ireland. They finished a couple of hours behind the current record, but it had to be tried or everyone would have regretted it.”

That irrepressible, adventurous spirit is why the French are premier offshore sailors. But it’s still hard not to notice that after two years of trying Geronimo still hasn’t snagged a single outright speed record…



Stealthy Solune: “Heh-heh. Wait ’til the Limeys wake up and discover that we’ve stolen their home island record…”

Wetass Video Of The Week–Surfer(s) Down!: Check out these cringe-worthy, big-wave wipeouts, courtesy of Surfer Magazine. Click here for Windows Media, and here for Quicktime. Filmed at Peahi, Hawaii in January. There’s a reason they call the place “Jaws.” And, oh yeah, Iron Maiden’s “Only The Good Die Young” as a soundtrack is a nice touch…



“Oh, shit…”

Russian Big Wall Update–Now, The Hard Part: The Russian teams trying to summit Jannu and Everest via their rocky north faces are finally at the critical stage. On Everest, they are staring up at the rocky bastion that soars from 7900 meters to 8500 meters. If they can get up this seemingly impossible pitch, they will probably knock the bastard off (as Hillary put it when he got to the top of Everest). They’ve got a third tent set at 7800 meters, and will now throw small climbing teams made up of their best technical climbers at the frigid rock. Each team will climb and fix rope until they are exhausted by the work and altitude and then descend to rest while the second team rotates in. The expedition has lost one young climber to altitude sickness, but the weather forecast for the next few days is good, so the Russians are going for it…

On Jannu, the climbers are now fixing rope above 7,000 meters (the summit is at 7710), and working in two-man teams to scramble past cornices and claw their way up dizzying rock. They’ve got a portaledge hauled up there for rest on the Face, and are rotating teams between base camp and the Face to try and keep everyone fresh. The weather is fine, which is making the preternaturally pessimistic Russians very nervous that they are about to get slammed…



Base Camp Recuperation, Russian-Style: “Mother of Stalin, this whiskey bong is awesome. I feel like I could climb anything….”

Ben Saunders Is On Top Of The World: Yesterday, after a grueling 68 days of blizzards, open water, and general weather craziness, Ben finally got to watch his GPS hit the magic number. Here’s what he had to say:

“Ninety degrees north. The axis of the earth’s rotation. All the lines of longitude and all the time zones converge here. The North Geographic Pole.

I’ve had 68 days to rehearse a speech, yet when I turned on the video camera and counted down the last few feet on my GPS, I didn’t know what to say.

I still don’t. I felt a huge mixture of emotions today – overwhelming joy and happiness, relief, sadness, frustration that I’m here too late in the season to reach the Canadian coastline. I thought of Dominick Arduin, who died this spring trying to reach the same point. And I thought how strange it is that there’s nothing here. It’s a bit of ice, just like any other.

I knew that all along, of course, but it still seemed so odd that the only proof is a number on the GPS. I sat down on my sledge and within moments I had drifted away from it. It’s a cliche, but it’s true – the important bit is the journey, not the destination.

And what a journey it’s been so far. I’ve had way more than I bargained for – the conditions have been worse than ever and I’ve had to dig deeper than I imagined possible just to keep going. My motivation and my goals have changed drastically – at the start, this was about competition. Making a statement. I’ve come to realise that the only competition was with myself, and that the only thing I’m ‘conquering’ is my own self-doubt. The Arctic changes every year – skiing to the North Pole isn’t like running the 100 metres. It’s not even like climbing Everest, or skiing to the South Pole, because it’s getting tougher and tougher. Making a solo and unsupported ski crossing? I’m wary of using the word impossible, but I think it comes close. I hope someone proves me wrong.

My plan now is to head as far towards Canada as I can. I’m already camped on the ‘Canadian side’ and my world has been turned upside down – north, south, east and west have all swapped places.”

Congratulations, Ben. At least the rest of the route is downhill…



The North Pole, Finally: “Okay, now what…?”

Mick “Mekong” O’Shea Has Arrived At The Headwaters: He’s on the Tibetan plateau, 5224 meters above sea level and on the backside of nowhere, ready to attempt the first descent of the great river. First he has to recover from his backcountry trek, which included confrontations with killer dogs, a mighty stubborn yak, and a pit-stop to try and save the life of a herder who had taken a Yak horn through the mouth. Already it’s an adventure and here’s an excerpt from Mick’s dispatches, recounting a visit with some locals:

We sat around a stove of smoldering yak dung and heard of how wolves had taken some seven sheep the previous night and that bears would periodically come down from the mountains after the winter hibernation to terrorize locals and take livestock. With April being the end of winter I suddenly felt a little less paranoid about bringing a 14 inch machete for the nights alone in the wilderness. After thanking the herders for their time and the copious amounts of slightly rancid yak butter tea we pushed on and just as the sun sank behind distant mountains we arrived at a herders’ winter settlement on a vast plain covered in snow.

Ummm, “copious amounts of slightly rancid yak butter tea.” Mick’s really hanging it out there, isn’t he…?



“Christ, this yak stinks..And I thought the kayaking would be the hard part.”

TWC Quick Hits…:

Global Warming Hint #256–The Eiger North Face Is Melting: Ice and rock will rain down on any climber dumb, I mean, umm, courageous enough to give it a try…

Forget Earthquakes, San Franciscans Are Freaking About An Invasion Of African Frogs: They are horny, have claws, and are ready to wipe out California’s peace-loving, patchouli-wearing red-legged frog…

TWC Critical Info Corner–Tips On Sharing The Oceans With Great White Sharks: Never surf or dive alone, stay out of California’s “Red Triangle,” and never, ever piss in your wet suit. And, oh yeah, if you get attacked try to poke the bastard in the eye (before you kiss your ass goodbye)…



“Err, does it matter which eye I stick my finger into…?

Cosmo Goes To Everest: This is summit season on Everest, so it’s hard to stay away from the place. And while TWC has tried to avoid the ho-hum, pay $70,000 and get dragged to the top of Everest via fixed ropes expeditions, Annabelle Bond deserves a look. No, not because she’s a blonde and has a penchant for cheesecake poses on the sides of mountains. She deserves a look because she is on a mission to climb the Seven Summits, AND she is writing long, detailed dispatches which really give a full picture of what it is like to be an amateur getting ready for a climb through the Everest summit factory. If you are used to terse, “because it’s there” stoicism–i.e. the standard fare for adventure dispatches–Annabelle’s breezy screeds are something entirely different. Anna is not afraid to admit that she loves getting tea in bed in Base Camp, has anxiety attacks about the climb ahead, and worries that she won’t cut it. You’ll find mention of beans at altitude, massages and manicures, and plenty of detail on what it feels like to sit around for 6 weeks on the side of a mountain waiting for a weather window. She provides a uniquely complete and colorful look at the society of base camp: the crowds, the egos, the bonds that develop due to shared peril. Here’s her take on the climb ahead, but it’s worth going to her site to read through the full reports:

“IF WE DO GO FOR THE SUMMIT IT WILL TAKE 4 OR 5 DAYS ON THE MOUNTAIN AND THIS IS THE VAGUE PLAN. WE WILL GO FROM BASECAMP TO CAMP 2, HAVE A REST DAY, THEN GO TO CAMP 3 AND SPEND A NIGHT, MOVE TO CAMP 4 ON THE SOUTH COL AND THEN LEAVE FOR OUR SUMMIT ATTEMPT AT AROUND 11.00PM AT NIGHT, AND ALL BEING WELL, HOPEFULLY BE BACK AT CAMP 4 BEFORE NIGHTFALL THE FOLLOWING NIGHT. IT WILL BASICALLY BE AN EXHAUSTING 5 DAYS AND THEN WE HAVE TO GET BACK DOWN..NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT THE DECENTS BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU COMING DOWN THE LHOTSE FACE IS MENTALLY EXHAUSTING YOU HAVE TO BE SO VIGILANT WITH YOUR ROPEWORK, CONSTANTLY CLIPPING INTO AND OFF THE FIXED LINES. AMY TOLD ME YESTERDAY THAT THERE IS A LOT OF ROCK FALLING ONTO THE ROUTE ON THE LHOTSE FACE SO IM BRINGING MY HELMET WITH ME.. GOT TO PROTECT MY VALUABLE BRAIN CELLS CANT AFFORD TO LOOSE ANYMORE!!”

What will the Russians think when they find Bond, Annabelle Bond, on the summit….



“Damn, I wish my sponsors would let me wear a down parka for these shoots. I’m f*cking freezing in this thing….”

It’s Update Monday…

Ben Saunders Polar Update: Ben Saunders was just 22 miles south of the North Pole on Sunday, and expects to get there tomorrow. Most adventurers would hop a plane and head back to the pub to start bragging. Not Ben. He’ll just be halfway home, and racing Spring as he skis on toward Canada. More importantly, Ben is also clearly racing against complete loopiness. Here’s one of his weekend offerings:

“There’s something wrong …with this picture (see below). Is the answer:

a) ‘Good grief! It’s so warm that Ben can ski along with no hat and no gloves.’

b) ‘Hahahahahaha… look at those tan lines!’

c) ‘Urgh! Look at that hair. I bet it hasn’t been washed for at least, ooh, 65 days.’

d) All of the above.

Clearly, the answer’s d, and although I can wash my hair and iron out the tan lines on the beach, the temperature issue is a tad more worrying…

Anyhow, on a lighter note, I saw one of the locals today. I swam across a lead wearing my drysuit this afternoon, and as I climbed out of the far side and turned to pull my sledge across, I saw something big move in the water, just where I’d been moments before. My heart missed a beat. Killer whale? Arctic shark? A wet, furry head popped out and looked me in the eye. ‘Hellloooooooo!’ I shouted, as if Mr. Seal was a long lost friend. He (she?) disappeared straight away. I’ve seen a few seals and they’re usually very shy, so I was amazed when he reappeared, so close that I could’ve bopped him on the head with a ski pole. I tried a bit of ‘ar ar ar’ but got no more than a quizzical sideways glance, so I took a few photos and he watched with great interest as I stripped out of the orange suit. Finally, as I clipped my skis on, he performed a few elegant tumble turns, as if he was trying to entice me back into the sea. Amazing – it made my whole week. I’m sure it blew Mr. Seal’s mind, too.”

Can’t wait to see his dispatches about a month from now…



Arctic Grooming: It’s amazing the seal stuck around (or maybe Ben looked familiar)…

Russian Everest North Face Update–Onward and Upward: They just keep going and going and going…Slowly but surely the Russian Big Wall team trying to scale the rocky Hell of Everest’s central North Face is gaining altitude. Here’s the latest dispatch from team leader Viktor Kozlov:

“Yesterday the group led by Petr Kuznetsov managed to settle the tent, and it is our second camp at 7550m. Having spent the night already in this camp since the morning we continued working on the wall. There were 4 pitches made before and today we managed to fix five ropes more. In a result the expedition have reached 7800 meters. We have got 4-5 pitches left up to the beginning of the rocky bastion. Tomorrow the guys plan to engage in fixing these ropes, and then will descend to have a rest. Today Ermachek’s group (Ermachek-Volodin-Zhilin) left the camp I to change Kuznetsov’s group that is going to descend to 6200m. Bastion’s altitude is 7900m. The main task of Ermachek’s group is to set there next camp. Then the groups led by Koshelenko and Shabalin by turns will begin fixing the bastion. So, for today – the altitude is 7800m.”

The rocky bastard, I mean bastion. This climb only gets more difficult the higher the climbers go, which is why it will be such an incredible feat of high altitude moutaineering if these guys actually get to the top via this route….



“This thing is so hairy, I’m losing all of mine…”

Mallory & Irvine Update: The search for Irvine’s body is turning into a circus at 8,000 meters. In addition to our guys (the Everest News expedition), there are two other teams on Everest scrounging for the corpse. One of these teams was recently up high on the mountain with a metal detector, without ropes or camps. In other words, they were making a dash and hoping to get lucky. None of this can be very comforting to Irvine’s family, who are hoping that if the body is discovered it will be treated with respect and given a Christian burial on the mountain. When Mallory’s body was discovered, much of the climbing world was horrified at the gruesome pictures made public, and the general pawing over the body received. The Everest News expedition is going to try and do better:

“We have been asked by the family that information from the mountain be relayed to them before this information is given to anyone else. After a burial, in most countries it is a legal requirement that thereafter the body remains untouched. The family requests this, and we join them in their belief that this practice should be respected in the mountains. We will attempt to treat Sandy with the utmost respect. We will go very quietly and very slowly. We plan to stay focused and small. We need to stay on task and without complex agendas. No reporters, no cameramen, and no interviews while on the mountain.”

But who knows about the other teams, and who knows who–if anyone–will find the body first. Maybe Everest should be allowed to keep its secrets, and its dead…



Young Irvine: “I definitely don’t look like this anymore, so I wish these ghouls would let me rest in peace…”

(Photo via EverestNews.Com)